Feature

The Most Badass Lines From Video Game Characters In 2018

by Javy Gwaltney on Dec 28, 2018 at 05:00 PM

Hello friends. It's the holidays and you know what that means: it's time for the third edition of our favorite badass lines from games in the year (here's 2016 and 2017).  2018 was a fantastic year for games and for writing in games as well, so we've got a lot of rad threats, boasts, jokes, and other amusing quips for you this year. So let's get to it.

Warning: some strong language ahead!

Red Dead Redemption II

It's a western, of course it's going to have fantastic acts of bravery and foolishness as well as clever dialogue to go along with them. Here's the best of the best from Rockstar's opus.

Dutch to Kieran: “I got a saying, my friend. We shoot fellers as need shooting, save fellers as need saving, and feed 'em as need feeding. We're gonna find out what you need.”

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Arthur: “As long as we get paid or you get shot, I’m happy.”

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Arthur: "Maybe when your mother's finished mourning your father, I'll keep her in black on your behalf."

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"That didn't go very smoothly."

Arthur: "They can put that on my gravestone."

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Dutch: "This place ain't no such thing as civilized. It's man so in love with greed he has forgotten himself, and found only appetites."

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Anthony Foreman: "She killed my cousin!"

Susan Grimshaw: "I don't care if she shot your daddy and cooked your momma for breakfast. She's mine, she ain't yours."

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Dutch: "Get down here YOU INBRED TRASH."

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Dutch: "If you ain't gonna be civilized about this..." [shoots man in the face]

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Hosea Matthews strolling out of a burning house: "So much for the g_dd_mn cribbage game."

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Hitman 2 Review Screens

Hitman 2

While Hitman might not be a serious that comes to mind when you think of great writing, there's a load of clever puns and double entendres hiding in IO's latest entry in the assassination simulation series.

47 disguised as a doctor, about to poison his target: " Come on in. Have a seat."

Target: "So what's on the menu? Something that'll take care of this hideous pain in my neck, I hope."

47: "I promise: once I'm done , you won't feel a thing."

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47 disguised as a tattoo artist: "Can I finish my work now?"

Drug lord, waiting to be inked: "Do what you do best, man."

47: "You got it." [Slams the needle into the drug lord's ear]

God Of War

Sure, the majority of God Of War's great writing is in its plot and earnest, emotional characterizations, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have some great exchanges. Some big spoilers for the story ahead.

Kratos to Atreus: "Don't be sorry. Be better."

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Kratos to The Stranger: "You do not want this fight."

The Stranger: "Oh, I'm pretty sure I do."

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[Kratos and Atreus spot a big monster.]

Kratos: "We will fight it."

Atreus: "Why?"

Kratos: "Because you are afraid."

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Atreus, mocking: "Are you going to carry that crystal everywhere?"

Kratos: "I just might."

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Mimir: "So, you value your privacy more than your family?"

Kratos: "I'm going to cut off your head now."

Mimir: "Fair enough."

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Atreus: "Why did they kill that elf? He did nothing wrong!"

Kratos: "You do not know that. Never assume."

Atreus: "But he didn't even defend himself."

Kratos: "That was his decision. We make our own."

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Kratos silencing Mimir: "Quiet, head."

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The Valkyries before they crush Kratos' neck: "VALHALLA!"

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Kratos to Athena: "I am your monster no longer."

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Kratos to Atreus: "Boy. Listen to me. I am from a land called Sparta. I made a deal with a god that cost me my soul. I killed many who were deserving...and many who were not."

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Atreus: "Is this how it always ends? Sons killing their mothers? Their fathers?"

Kratos: "No. We will be the gods we choose to be. Not those who have been. Who I was....is not who you'll be. We must be better."

Overwatch

Overwatch got a big shot in the arm this year from constant events and additions to the game, including the fantastic outlaw Ashe (voiced by Jennifer Hale of Commander Shepard fame) to the heroes' lineup. Ashe has more than a couple of doozies.

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Ashe, activating ultimate: "B.O.B! DO SOMETHING!"

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Ashe, on respawn: "You're gettin' me riled up."

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Ashe, getting 10 votes in post-game: "Now you know what it's like to work with the best."

Far Cry 5

Far Cry 5's got some uneven places, sure, but it's also home to some of gaming's most memorable threats and insults this year.

Joseph Seed giving a eulogy for his brother: "A seal has been opened. My brother, John, was loved by few. Feared by many. Misunderstood by all except me. John was not born a monster. He was just a child when our family was torn apart. He was loving, kind, full of joy. He was easily preyed upon. John was not perfect and sometimes, he was not even good. But he was my brother. And those responsible for his death will be punished. I promise you that."

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Joseph Seed being arrested: “There they are… the locusts in our garden… You see they’ve come for me. They’ve come to take me away from you. They’ve come to destroy all that we’ve built. We knew this moment would come. We have prepared for it. Go. Go. God will not let them take me.”

Adelaide: "Those peggy s_itbirds stole my Tulip. She's the nimblest g_ddamn helicopter this side of Montana and I'll be g_d-damned if those f_ck trumpets are going to take her from me. I won that bird in my divorce fair and square. The walking erectile dysfunction who took her painted her that awful shade of peggy mayonnaise so the only way you'll be able to find her is to ID the pilot. Should be easy to spot him. The only other birds around the area are flown by women. We all used to fly together on weekends but that friendship went tits up after those thunder c_nts joined Eden's Gate

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Adelaide:  "I'll teach those t_at waffles you don't get between a woman and her divorce settlement."

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Detroit Become Human

Bros 4 Lyfe Connor and Hank had an assortment of memorable quips during their CSI meets Blade Runner-like adventure.

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Hank: "Well I don't need assistance. Especially from a plastic a__hole like you. So just be a good little robot and get the f_ck outta here."

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Connor: I didn't come here to wait until you feel like working.

Hank: Listen, a__hole, if it was up to me, I'd throw the lot of you in a dumpster and set a match to it. So stop pissing me off.

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[Hank slaps Connor]

Hank: "You b_stard! You saw I was going to fall and you'd rather let me die than fail your f__king mission?"

Connor: "I had to make a choice. It seemed to me..."

Hank: "What am I to you? A statistic? A zero, a one in your f__king program? Is that how you see humans, you b_stard?"

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Police Chief, talking about Connor: "It's a state of the art prototype!  It'll act as your partner."

Hank:  "No f__king way! I don't need a partner, and certainly not this plastic p__ck!"

[Connor looks on with blank stare. Blinks.]

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Connor: "Is there anything you'd like to know about me?"

Hank: "Hell no...well, yeah. Why'd they make you look so goofy and give you that weird voice?"

Connor: "CyberLife androids are designed to work harmoniously with humans. Both my appearance and voice were specifically designed to facilitate my integration."

Hank: "Well, they f__ked up."

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Destiny 2: Forsaken

Forsaken makes a big gambit, killing off the character in its universe with the most likable personality: roguish gunslinger Cayde-6. Before he goes out though, he's got some wonderful zingers. True to his character all the way to the end.

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Cayde-6, mortally wounded as a villain approaches to finish him off: "This is...sort of awkward but do you have a gun I can borrow?'

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Petra explaining the dire situation at the prison: "Right now gen-pop is running wild. Fortunately, the main arena and lower levels remain on lockdown. But if the core systems fail, containment is going to be a problem."

Cayde-6, excited: "Just another day at the office." [turning to player] " All right, partner. This is a Cayde-6 in riff, watch me for the changes and try to keep up. Now let's go to prison!"

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Cayde-6 mowing down enemies: "Ok, these guys REALLY wanna dance!"

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Cayde-6 shooting a computer console: "Tech support...with extreme prejudice."

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Wounded Cayde-6 after slaughtering an entire room of bad guys: "Is that...really all you got?"

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What about you, reader? What were some of your favorite zingers, threats, or just great bits of dialog from this past year?