10 Ridiculous Action Heroes To Take On The Terminator In WWE 2K16

As with most sports series, the annual installments of WWE 2K can start to feel all too similar. However, Visual Concepts proved it's willing to shake things up with yesterday's surprise announcement that the Terminator is entering the ring. With Arnold Schwarzenegger upping the competition, we dreamed up 10 more iconic action heroes that Visual Concepts should include to even the odds.

Sylvester Stallone (circa Rambo)
There's only one action hero with as much gravitas as the Govenator, and that's Sly Stallone. While the meat-mouthed actor's role as Rocky Balboa would make the cleanest transition to the squared circle, if he's going to take down a killer robot, he'll have to go full-on Rambo. After all, the renegade war hero has single-handedly slaughtered entire platoons of enemy combatants – he's as much of a Terminator as any time-traveling mechanical assassin. Naturally, Rambo would have his own suite of signature moves that players could perform, such as slitting an opponents' throats from behind with his giant survival knife and firing his machine gun while his muscles jiggle in slow motion. He could even use his explosive arrows to blow up morons in the crowd that bring huge cardboard cutouts of their own stupid heads.

Kurt Russell (circa Big Trouble In Little China)
While not quite as big as Schwarzenegger or Stallone, Kurt Russell epitomizes the cool '80s action star. His stint as big-rig-driver-turned-hero Jack Burton is an obvious fit for professional wrestling – he's cocky, he can punch and shoot his way through an endless stream of enemies, and he has a nonsensical-yet-hilarious one-liner for every occasion. His signature moves could include making his opponent's head inflate until it explodes and shooting giant chunks of concrete out of the ceiling and knocking himself out. Everyone knows Jack Burton has paid his dues, so let him fight, already!

Jet Li (circa The Legend)
EA already snatched up the rights to Bruce Lee's likeness for its UFC series, but Jet Li is a more tantalizing proposition anyway. His portrayal of Chinese folk hero Fong Sai-yuk takes martial arts mastery to mystical levels – he could easily flit above Arnold's lead-footed attacks, and would have no problem tackling multiple opponents at a time. His signature moves include kicking tables into precarious towers and balancing on them, slicing up his enemies with a dozen different swords – while blindfolded! – and having multiple wives without seeming like a bad guy.

Bruce Willis (circa Die Hard)
Let's be real: The Terminator ain't got sh-- on John McClane. The New York super cop started off defending Nakatomi Plaza building from just a handful of terrorists, but since then he's driven a car into a flying helicopter, surfed on the back of a jet, driven a car out of a flying helicopter, and gone to Chernobyl...for some reason. For his inclusion in WWE 2K16, however, I'd go with classic McClane – his signature move would be having bloody feet, which would leave smears everywhere the player walks and allow him to slide into characters for devastating low strikes. He'd also yell, "Yippee ki-yay, mother f---er" every time he defeats an opponent, because he once made a reference to Roy Rogers and now he's doomed to keep repeating it like a broken record for some reason.

Coming Up Next: Five more awesome action heroes that should be included in WWE 2K16, because why not?

RoboCop (circa RoboCop)
If the Terminator is going to be included in WWE 2K16, you pretty much have to throw in RoboCop as well. One is living tissue over a metal endoskeleton, and the other is a titanium armored shell over whatever body parts the dad from That '70s Show didn't blow off of Alex Murphy – it would be downright discriminatory to include one but not the other! Besides, they could just reuse all of Arnold's stilted animations; you'd just have to swap out one set of cliché movie quips for the other. True to the character, RoboCop's signature moves would include shooting opponents in the crotch with his Auto-9, stomping around a lot, and...what else did RoboCop do again?

Linda Hamilton (circa The Terminator)
How did I not think of this before? Including Sarah Connor makes perfect sense – she's the only one who can actually kill a Terminator! I'd go with Judgment Day-era Connor, with a retro '80s alternate skin that players can unlock. Connor is proficient with most firearms (which is essential for a professional wrestling game), but her signature move would be confusing her opponent by trying to explain the contradictory timelines of the Terminator series, until they eventually pass out from how mind-numbingly incoherent it is. It's a highly effective move.

Liam Neeson (circa every Liam Neeson movie)
Whether it's Taken, The Grey, or Non-Stop, Liam Neeson is the king of playing characters that have nothing left to lose. Neeson can prove it once again by playing himself in WWE 2K16 cameo. Neeson's fighter would be a montage of all his roles, since they are pretty much all the same anyway. Neeson's signature moves would include taping tiny, broken liquor bottles to his hands and calling up his opponents to tell them how he's going to brutalize them when they least expect it, pleading with them to stay on the phone as he goes into excruciating detail about what he intends to do to you.

Danny Glover (circa Lethal Weapon)
When you hear the words "action hero," your mind might not immediately jump to Danny Glover, but the accomplished actor had a solid run as Roger Murtaugh in the Lethal Weapon series. Unlike the other wannabe rasslers on this list, Murtaugh wouldn't have any offensive moves – instead, any and every button on the controller simply makes him say "I'm getting too old for this sh--!" The only winning strategy when playing as Murtaugh is to run around the ring while hollering his quote and avoiding his enemy, until they get bored and give up.

Johnny Depp (circa Edward Scissorhands)
I know what you're thinking: "Edward Scissorhands isn't an action hero!" To which I say, "Of course he is – he's got scissors for hands, dummy!" Edward Scissorhands would be a great pro wrestler: He's got his own unique, gothic style, he seems to be in relatively decent shape, and, oh yeah – he's got scissors for hands! Edward's signature moves would include cutting up little kids, cutting up his own face, and causing people to have spontaneous orgasms while cutting their hair. That movie was weird.

The Entire Damn Expendables Cast
Wait a minute...why the hell did I bother making this list? Someone already did it for me – three times already! 2K should forget everyone I just listed and hire these guys instead; they're mostly the same anyway. They've even got Fraiser in there, for crying out loud!

What action hero do you want to see take on The Terminator in WWE 2K16? Share your pick in the comments below while I add go add an entry to my list of sentences I never thought I'd write.