humor

The 10 Awesomest Video Game Titles Of 2015

by Jeff Marchiafava on Nov 16, 2015 at 12:31 PM

Making fun of terribly named video games is one of my favorite past times, but I'm also willing to give credit where credit is due. Now that the dumbest video game titles of 2015 have been appropriately lambasted, it's time to take a look at 10 games with names that are so awesome they sell themselves.

Helldivers
Space marines are a dime a dozen in video games, but rarely do their game titles convey how badass they are: Halo, Destiny, Warhammer 40K: Space Marine, PlanetSide 2 – boring! Even Killzone doesn't tell you much about the characters you'll be playing, just that there's a designated location where you're either going to murder things or get murdered yourself. There's no ambiguity with Helldivers; not only are the titular soldiers tough as nails, they're also probably more than a little crazy – they are willing to dive into hell, after all.

Fort Meow
On the completely opposite end of the naming spectrum, Fort Meow sounds positively adorable! Despite being an ardent dog person, even I can't resist smiling at the thought of a military base being run by a bunch of purring kittens. Not that it would be very difficult for the enemy to overrun – you can't get a cat to do anything it doesn't want to, and I doubt enrolling in military service ranks up there with lying in sunbeams and coughing up hairballs. Lousy cats.

Extreme Exorcism
Oh man, you know this game isn't messing around. After all, every exorcism is extreme – so what makes this one so much more extreme that it requires being labeled as such? To put it in perspective, the classic horror film The Exorcist involved a teenage Linda Blair projectile-vomiting green puke and doing unspeakable things to a crucifix – and that was just an old-fashioned, run-of-the-mill exorcism! I don't even know if I want to play this one...

Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon
Pokémon games have always had terrible names – when they're not just a straightforward color, they devolve into nonsense like Alpha Sapphire and Omega Ruby. The Pokémon Mystery Dungeon series has been around for a while, but the additional "Super" is just what this game needed – this is clearly the mystery dungeon you've been waiting for! Sure, the super mystery dungeon is just going to end up containing stupid monsters shaped like car keys like every other mystery dungeon, but the added intrigue should keep hope alive at least long enough to get players to buy it.

Corpse Party: Blood Drive
Rob Zombie probably cries himself to sleep wishing he could come up with a movie title as demented as the name of Team GrisGris' latest game. What kind of sick freaks go to a corpse party? Based on the screenshots, it looks like they're all teenage students, which is even more screwed up. However, the subtitle provides an additional wrinkle to the macabre scene – whoever these corpse partygoers are, they're evidently thoughtful enough to set up a blood donation. Kinda makes you second-guess your prejudices, doesn't it?

Coming Up Next: More awesomely named video games from 2015...

Tembo The Badass Elephant 
Want a surefire way to convince players that your game is badass? Actually putting the word "badass" in the title isn't exactly subtle, but it definitely gets the job done. Besides, Tembo is a game about a rampaging elephant – I don't think Game Freak was really going for subtlety. This title is the perfect example of how important a single word can be: Tembo The Badass Elephant sounds like an awesome action game you don't want to miss. Tembo The Elephant, on the other hand, sounds like some kind of depressing indie circus simulator designed to make you ponder the morality of animal captivity.

Criminal Girls: Invite Only
Our round-up of the worst game titles of 2015 rightly mocked Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls on the premise that "ultra despair girls" sound like the worst group of girls to hang out with. Criminal Girls are their much more exciting doppleganger – what kind of crimes are these girls up to? You're probably not going to find out, as the "Invite Only" subtitle conveys a sense of elitism – not just any mope off the street can socialize with these juvenile delinquents. Probably a good call when whatever you're getting up to is illegal.

Lovers In A Dangerous Spacetime
This title has everything! Sex? Check. Danger? Check. Word that references a mathematical model in physics that few people understand but makes them think of space? Check! All that plus a song reference to '80s Canadian pop-rock artist Bruce Cockburn! Now that's a title. Think I'm joking? I don't even know anymore! Either way, Lovers In A Dangerous Spacetime makes the Wii U's Affordable Space Adventures look downright lame in comparison – even if it is reasonably priced.

Guns, Gore, & Cannoli
Speaking of titles that have everything: Guns, Gore, & Cannoli appeals to gamers' unceasing obsession with shooting things and the ultraviolence shooting things causes, then sprinkles in a little love for Sicilian pastries – which are criminally underrepresented in video games (seriously, even Cooking Mama has blindly omitted these delicious Italian desserts from her stereotype-heavy menu!). Guns, Gore, & Cannoli is likely a reference to Clemenza's famous line in The Godfather, and if you're assuming that has any kind of sway over me including it on the list, then damn you for your prejudices. Also, you're kinda right.

Super Exploding Zoo
Holy crap – what the hell is a super exploding zoo? I can't think of a more exciting place to visit/probably die. And it raises so many questions: Are the animals exploding? If so, why the hell are the animals exploding?! Who built this super exploding zoo, and what on earth were they thinking? How much are tickets? Do you have to sign a waiver before entering? Forget the awesomest title of 2015 – this is one of the best titles of all time!

For more titillating title analysis, check out the dumbest titles of 2015, 2014, and some honorable mentions from years past.