The lights are on
In issue 217 of Game
Informer, we ran a list of the Top Ten stupid video game titles. While
those ten game names were certainly the cream of the crap, we had no shortage
of runners-up. Enjoy this list of laughably bad game titles that didn't quite
make the cut, but are still unforgivably dumb.
of PripyatPlenty of video games have superfluous acronyms, but this one takes the cake.
S.T.A.L.K.E.R. stands for "Scavenger, Trespasser, Adventurer, Loner, Killer,
Explorer, Robber," a list of people you might find wandering around in a
post-apocalyptic wasteland. Previous titles in the series at least had decent
subtitles, but Call of Pripyat just adds to the confusion, unless studying
Ukrainian ghost towns is your hobby.Other Offensively
Dumb Acronyms: C.O.P. The Recruit, M.U.S.C.L.E.
Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X.
Speaking of stupid acronyms: Tom Clancy's arcade-y dogfighter returns with
H.A.W.X. 2. You would need a pretty awesome acronym to justify spelling 'hawks'
with an 'x'. What did the geniuses behind the franchise come up with? "High
Altitude Warfare Xperimental squadron." What is that?! Not only did they
misspell "experimental," they completely left off "squadron." That's not how acronyms
work, people. How could Tom Clancy put his name on such a stupid...never mind.Other Xtremely Lame
Titles: X-Kaliber 2097, XGRA: Extreme-G Racing Association
Xenosaga Episode II: Jenseits
von Gut und Böse
Dear developers: You employ translators for a reason. "Jenseits von Gut und
Böse" is the German title of Friedrich Nietzsche's most famous philosophical
work. We know it in America as "Beyond Good and Evil," because, as it turns
out, some words in the English language have the same meanings as German words
and can replace them when it's convenient - like when you're trying to discuss
your favorite JRPG without sounding like a snobby jerk.
StokedHere's a free tip: Don't use dead skater lingo in your
title, unless your game is coming out in 1989 and stars Bill and Ted. Who
would've thought that a developer named "Bongfish" would be responsible
for such a mediocre game?
Ivy the Kiwi?There's no questioning the pedigree of famed designer Yuji
Naka, but when the former head of Sonic Team created his own studio in 2006, he
threw sane naming conventions out the window. The developer's first two games
were called Let's Catch and Let's Tap, followed by the enigmatic Ivy The Kiwi?
For some reason the title ends in a question mark, as if one of his employees
literally transcribed Yuji Naka's second title suggestion - we're assuming his
first proposal was Let's Ivy The Kiwi.More
Just-Name-It-Whatever Games: Hatris, Beyond The Beyond, Divine Divinity
Dawn of War II - Retribution
Apparently having 40,000 in your title isn't cumbersome enough for the
Warhammer series anymore. This standalone RTS expansion packs a hyphen, a
colon, and both Arabic and Roman numeral systems, all to punctuate cliché video
game buzzwords. It's the dawn of war, and
someone is looking for retribution? How utterly exciting.
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