The Top 15 Giant Monsters Of E3 2017
Are you a fan of charging behemoths and last-second cuts to towering beasts? If so, this E3 was for you! Here's a round-up of all the giant monsters we'll be gazing up at in awe in the years to come.
My measuring tape isn't nearly long enough to size up all of these hulking goliaths, so I'm presenting them here in no particular order – because really if you're this huge, you're already a winner. That said, I did save the biggest monster of E3 for last – and I think you'll completely agree my assessment when you see it. Now enough with the preamble – on to the monsters!
Giant Colossi (Shadow of the Colossus)
Colossi cast a big shadow, and so does Team Ico's masterful adventure game from the PS2 era. Thanks to the newly announced remake, the titular titans look more imposing than ever! I must admit I never played Shadow of the Colossus, so I can't wait for a third chance to befriend these gigantic creatures. I hope it turns out to be just as heartwarming as The Last Guardian!
Giant Sea Creature (God of War)
I don't know what this humongous monster is supposed to be, but based on his big toothy grin, he seems pretty jovial. Maybe Kratos isn't going to fight him at all, and instead use the gifted axe to give him a good teeth cleaning. That would certainly set a better example for Kratos' young and impressionable son than his previous exploits, and the job prospects are way better; there are a million monster slayers out there – but have you ever seen a monster dentist?
Giant Squid (Skull & Bones)
Shiver me timbers? More like ink your pants! This giant squid spells big trouble for any wandering pirates sailing in its wake. Although, you'd be eating calamari for months if you can make that massive mollusk walk the plank! Regardless, I'll stick to being a landlubber...aaaand I'm out of pirate jokes. On a side note, kudos to Ubisoft for making the one giant monster of E3 that you look down on in awe.
Giant Zombie (State of Decay 2)
Fat zombies that puke some kind of gross bile on you are nothing new in video games, but this guy's ridiculous. How'd he get so big? Presumably he was a human before the outbreak...did the virus make him grow even larger? If not, he should've been a linebacker when he was alive...for the New York Giants – amiright? *sigh* Moving on.
Giant Snake (Assassin's Creed Origins)
Assassin's Creed has always played it fast and loose with history – I guess it was only a matter of time before the writers shrugged there shoulders and said "Screw it, let's add giant monsters." It's not like gamers know that much about actual Egyptian history anyway. The real question, though, is why isn't the snake working with the Assassins? It seems like if your job was killing people, having a giant venomous snake would be a boon for business. Maybe you can recruit it, provided it doesn't swallow you whole first.
Another Giant Snake (Moss)
Technically, this is probably just a normal-sized snake, but if you're a tiny mouse adventurer, then it's giant to you. Wow, that really makes you think, doesn't it...
Giant Zombie Bear (Days Gone)
As if thousands of brain-hungry zombies weren't enough, the biker gang in Sons of Anarchy Days Gone also has to contend with a giant zombie bear – covered in barbed wire no less! I didn't even know animals could catch Zombie Disease. Really though, does it matter? I mean getting mauled to death by a bear is pretty much already a worst-case scenario. Does the bear being a zombie add anything to it?
Another Giant Zombie Bear (Metro Exodus)
Never mind – it clearly must add something, since Metro Exodus has one, too. Or maybe the two games take place in the same universe?
Coming Up Next: Even more giant monsters from E3, including the giant-est monster of them all...
Giant Alien Gorilla (Anthem)
I'm pretty sure I battled that exact same monster a thousand times in Evolve...hopefully Anthem finds more success. Since it's a BioWare game, I'm assuming there's also an option to romance that thing – if that's not worthy of a day-one purchase, I don't know what is!
Giant Lady (Ashen)
I guess we technically don't know if this towering woman is a monster or not, but it looks like she lives in a cave and she's got some kind of Cubone-style head gear, so I'm guessing she doesn't take too kindly to visitors.
Whatever Lives On That Mountain (Horizon Zero Dawn Frozen Wilds)
Before you call B.S. on me for including this one, hear me out – Horizon Zero Dawn was full of giant robot monsters. Clearly the ominous, smoking mountain in the Frozen Wilds reveal is home to something bad, and whatever it is, it's going to be huge. Even the mighty Thunderjaw stopped to stare at it, for crying out loud!
Giant Donkey Rabbid (Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle)
I don't know if that thing is good or bad, but it's big, hairy, and it stole Donkey Kong's tie. That's more than enough to qualify for this list.
Giant Robot (Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus)
There was a lot going on in Bethesda's Wolfenstein II trailer, but if you didn't blink, you probably saw this giant robot during the gory gameplay montage. Wait a minute – is that the titular "New Colossus"? Also, how many games at this year's E3 are going to have Colossus in the title? Just two? Are you sure? Fine, forget it.
Giant Everything (Monster Hunter World)
Let's be real: Monster Hunter might as well be called Giant Monster: The Game, and the newest console edition looks like the craziest one yet. You kill huge monsters with huge weapons, then use their huge body parts to make huger weapons to kill the hugest monsters! What a time to be alive...
Bowser (Super Mario Odyssey)
Sure, Bowser may not be as massive as the other beasts on this list, but psychologically he's the biggest monster of them all. This time around he's added a whole new layer of perversion to his timeless scheme to kidnap Princess Peach – he's even coerced her into wearing a wedding dress somehow, then staged the whole thing so that Mario is forced to watch it from afar. Even Mario is all dressed up, hinting at some kind of masterful deception.
Of course there is another explanation, which I have hypothesized before: The entire kidnapping scheme is a sham, and Bowser and Princess Peach have actually been in a secret love affair for years. That theory is more plausible than ever before, but either way, Bowser is really rubbing Mario's face in it this time, making him the biggest monster of E3 2017.