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High-falutin' gamer culture

It's Another Dose Of Gaming Haikus From GI's Poet Laureate

by Jeff Cork on Dec 28, 2014 at 07:32 AM

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Remember when people wouldn't stop debating whether or not games were art? Do people still care about that? I don't know the answer to that one, but I'm confident of this: Haikus are the purest form of poetry, which is definitely a form of artistic expression. By combining my talents as a poet with my love of gaming, I've created a supersaturated form of art. Here are the last 10 games I've played transformed into powerful, expertly crafted haiku.

In case you doubt my credentials, you can check out my previous work here, here, here, and (you guessed it) here. As always, you're welcome.

Dragon Age: Inquisition
Sixty hours in,
I have an inquisquestion:
Where's the damned storage?

Geometry Wars 3: Dimensions
I love the stages
I love the variety
Bosses? Not so much

Candy Crush Soda Saga
Addicted again,
crushing my Facebook friends' scores,
Same game, but fizzy

Sunset Overdrive
The trailers blew it.
This game is fun and funny,
you're not a d***hebag.

Diablo III: Ultimate Evil Edition
All my friends have left.
They don't even check their mail.
No more nemeses.

The Crew
Drive across the states?
This is gonna take a while.
Wait. I hate road trips.

Marvel Pinball: Venom
This Carnage guy sucks,
his mini table is worse.
Keep him behind glass

Sleeping Dogs Definitive Edition
Undercover cop,
Scheming, infiltrating, sly
Beats dudes with a fish

Grand Theft Auto V
How far can I go?
The ocean spans forever
Then the boat flips. Rats.

Super Smash Bros For Wii U
My dark confession:
When I play smash with my kids,
I don't let them win.