Video Games That Would Be A Ridiculous Fit For Film

Video games and films haven't always mixed well, but when film producers pick up licenses like Space Invaders, Need for Speed, and Tetris, we have to start wondering if they're actively trying to fail. In an effort to help Hollywood waste billions of dollars, we've compiled a list of eight of the worst games ripe for a film adaptation. Don't be surprised if some of these actually make it to a theater near you soon.

Just Dance
The Game: Ubisoft’s simple dance game has become one of its best selling video game franchises of all time, selling over 59 million copies worldwide. Players use motion controls to move to the beat of iconic pop songs and then sucker their friends into looking like idiots with them.

Hollywood’s Terrible Adaptation: In the elite world of competitive dance anything goes, but no one expected the third annual Dance ’Til You Drop competition to get invaded by terrorists. Now an extremist militant group is holding the competition hostage until their demands are met. Only a ragtag band of inner city dancers called the Beat Street Boyz have the footwork to dance their way through New York City and disarm three nuclear warheads before midnight. But they’ll have to compete with the Phanny Pack and the Salsa Dolls if they want to save the world and win the million dollar grand prize.

SimCity
The Game: One of the best-selling PC franchises of all time, Will Wright’s city simulation gives players a plot of land and tasks them with managing and growing an ever expanding metropolis.

Hollywood’s Terrible Adaptation: The movie opens on a grassy field. In the distance we see one man, named Slick Cityton, who hammers a sign into the ground that says Buttville. The rest of the film follows Slick as he fights with labor unions and zoning districts in order to build a “cool” city. A recurring subplot has Slick constantly raising and lowering taxes and struggling to figure out why certain parts of his city still don’t have electricity. Critics pan the film and comment on the odd directorial choice to keep Slick from aging even though the film opens during the turn of the industrial revolution and ends with flying cars and bio domes.

Guitar Hero
The Game: Harmonix’s initial music rhythm game helped spark a cultural phenomenon and encouraged folks across the country to buy real guitars (that they’re still planning on learning to play someday). Later editions added drums and vocals, letting players live out their dream of being a rockstar.

Hollywood’s Terrible Adaptation: Apollo Rocket is one of the country’s hottest rockstars, but after one wild night of partying, Apollo crashes his nitro fueled super car (that was given to him by NASA) into the side of a mountain. Unfortunately, Apollo’s hands are crushed and it looks like he might never play the guitar again. But when a beautiful young woman nurses Apollo back to health, he starts to feel like he can love again. After Apollo’s new love tells him she’s moving to Antarctica, he rushes to the airport and uses the power of music to land the plane and prove he can be the hero to win back her heart.

Flower
The Game: Thatgamecompany’s artsy indie game where players control the wind as it blows through a series of valleys and collects flower petals evoked a sense of calm beauty. Flower is a lot more like a visual poem than a narrative, which is why it would be such a terrible movie.

Hollywood’s Terrible Adaptation: This animated film about a bunch of dancing flower petals stars a spunky young leafling called Tupil, who grows tired of her lot in life always tumbling through the field. One day, Tupil decides that she wants to remain on the ground. Meanwhile all of her friends are making fun of her, saying that flower petals weren’t made to rest on the ground. The movie ends when viewers realize that they’re not at the movie theater, but actually looking out the window of their grandparents' farm.

Coming Up Next: We explore how to adapt a handful of classic games and and interactive workout for film...

Wii Fit
The Game: Nintendo’s Wii was a console full of non-traditional game experiences that attracted new consumers to the video game market. One of the best examples of this was Wii Fit, a series of balancing mini games and activities that used the Wii Balance Board to help people exercise.

Hollywood’s Terrible Adaptation: As varsity quarterback, class president, and lead guitarist of his own band, Chad Twister is one of the coolest and fittest kids in school. But after losing a bet with the school’s janitor, Chad has to turn resident wimp, Linus Luser, into a superstar. Things start rough as Linus can’t walk down the street without tripping on his own shoelaces, but after a hot montage full of impressive balancing poses and a handstand, Linus starts wearing sunglasses and earns some real respect. Unfortunately, Linus becomes too cool for school and threatens Chad’s high school dominance, so the two end up facing off against each other at the year-end prom dance-off.

Frogger
The Game: Konami’s classic game about several frogs’ journeys across the street acquired a lot of quarters back in the ‘80s. Basically, players navigated frogs across a highway to their homes, but a series of speeding cars and crocodiles didn’t make the adventure simple.

Hollywood’s Terrible Adaptation: After a pet store goes out of business, it sells its remaining animals to an eccentric European who wants to turn a group of exotic Brazilian gold frogs into Sunday dinner. After orchestrating an Ocean’s Eleven-style escape, the amphibian quartet causes their delivery van to crash. Pursued by the relentless billionaire, the frogs learn a little about themselves and the dangers of the world as they jump from one high octane escapade to another. Befriended by a lazy old crocodile named Butterhead, the frogs eventually make a home for themselves in the forest.

Pong
The Game: One of the earliest arcade video games, Pong’s simple tennis-like gameplay proves delightfully simple even today. 

Hollywood’s Terrible Adaptation: Ball was one of the smoothest and curviest spheres that Paddle had ever seen, and he immediately falls for her. However, when another Paddle shows up on the scene the two get caught in an awkward love triangle that has them fighting for Ball's affections. Eventually, Paddle’s greed and overeagerness causes Ball to slip right through his fingers and he never sees his love again. The movie closes with Paddle staring down his mysteriously silent doppelganger from across a darkened room.

Super Mario Bros.
The Game: A cultural icon, Mario is easily one of the most recognized video game mascots of all time. His adventures have taken him to the Mushroom kingdom where he jumps on the heads of various turtles and dinosaurs before finally rescuing an imprisoned princess.

Hollywood’s Terrible Adaptation: Hollywood would likely turn a Super Mario Bros. film into a dark urban action film inspired by sci-fi hits like Blade Runner. Mario and Luigi would be New York plumbers who fall into a magic portal and end up in a dystopian parallel world where dinosaurs evolved into the dominant species — however they’d probably look like normal people. What's more, Mario’s iconic squat Goombas would be turned into eight-foot tall, suit-wearing goons with shrunken lizard heads, and the Mario Bros. would only be able to jump high if they were wearing special boots. John Leguizamo could play everyone’s favorite brother, Luigi. He’s not really doing anything. Actually, we might be onto something here.