Behold The Beauty VII: Your Lucky Number! - GIJeffA Blog - www.GameInformer.com
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Behold The Beauty VII: Your Lucky Number!

You've waited this long, so why wait any longer? Here's another batch of ridiculous video game covers to make your day that much better. Promise.

First off, in case you didn't notice, this game was at no uncertain point in time a "new release." Note the major typographic emphasis on "NEW." Yeah, it really pops. But hey, you need to make things like this stand out on a cover that has no fewer than four separate fields of different copy. Way to prioritize your space. But who can blame them with that awesome cover art of said Guardian Angel (see, he's wearing a shirt that says "ANGEL." Oh those clever designers!) chopping that would-be assailant in the head. That's how you fight crime – violent karate chops to the noggin.

Also, and I could be wrong, but I think Head Trauma Harry is wearing Zubaz or some variant thereof. They match exquisitely with that tan and brown plaid button-up shirt. Holla!

And I have to say, Mr. Guardian Angel himself is sporting a pair of pants that look like a shriveled-up raisin. What are those things made out of, green plastic wrap? Oh well, at least the designers have that dagger with the G.I. Joe snake wrapped around it slicing right through the Guardian's head. That might explain the grimacing look on his face.

I don't think this cover could reek of the 80s anymore if it tried. That Code Masters logo takes the cake. It's bad ass, just like getting stabbed in the head.


An interesting design choice was made when it was decided more prudent to repeat the "EX2" in a garishly large font behind an already large title. I'm not quite sure what purpose it serves other than to cover up a rather creepy looking Ken waving his right arm while standing on one leg. Ken doesn't look non too happy, either. Could be because his arm is freakishly connected to his torso. Or maybe because he's stuck in a sandstorm. I'd be pissed too.

And Capcom? Let's chill with the gradient effect on everything that constitutes a letter. Thanks.


Ooh! It's Dun Darach! Look at that giant rock. Hey, that rhymes. Oh man, this place looks so cool. Look at those spiders (or is it dirt) on the title treatment. Dun Durach must be a scary (or dirty) place. Oh man, is that another giant rock wearing an army helmet in the background? Dun Darach never stops surprising. A land of rocks, spiders, and crackled, old, hand-drawn typography. I'm in.


No


Do you fear long fingernails? Green hands? How about a mysterious red blob with something completely indiscernible inside it? Or how does a random, lone bloodspot that came from who knows where sound? Or better yet, an overreliance of the outer glow effect in Photoshop? Then stay far, far away from Deep Fear. Or should I say "Deep feaR?"

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Comments
  • Or should I say "Deep feaR?"

    YES!

  • I liked the Russel Grant's Astrology one. Made me laugh quite hard.

  • Really? All that crackin wise on Dark Century and not one mention of how extraordinarily phallic that tank is! On a side note, from now on, every time I think about Astrology I'm gonna picture Russel Grant's smiling mug and it's gonna make my day a little better. So thanks for that.

  • I always love reading these! Behold the Beauty always make me laugh out loud.

  • I always love these.

  • I have been missing out on these!!!!! This is the funniest article I have read in a while. I cant wait to read the six others!!!!