Star Wars' 10 Biggest Missteps
Before I dig my fangs into all six of the Star Wars movies, I should let you know that I am still a gigantic fan of this science fiction universe. Just yesterday I purchased a new action figure of Dengar, I frequently wear T-shirts with AT-ATs on them, I hum the Imperial March more than my coworkers would like to hear, and I plan on attending a midnight event for the upcoming Blu-Ray releases. Granted, after watching the prequel movies, my affection may fall more into the camp of someone suffering from Stockholm syndrome, or someone who had half of his brain removed (the side with the prequel memories), but I still feel a strong connection to this universe. I dedicated most of my childhood playtime to Star Wars, and one of my greatest memories to this day is recreating the Battle of Hoth outside with a dozen-plus neighborhood friends the morning after a massive snowstorm.
Now that I feel all warm and gushy inside, it's time to list the 10 biggest facepalms that George Lucas made with these movies.
The Half-Assed Plan To Save Han Solo
The Rebel Alliance's idea of a rescue is to send several of its highest ranking offices into Jabba's Palace one by one? Why not send an army? The ordeal would have been dealt with in a matter of minutes, and many of the universe's most feared villains would likely die in the battle. Nope. Instead everyone gets captured.
Yes, I know they are adorable. I want to hug all of them. Having these walking stuffed animals defeat the Empire is one of the dumbest plot twists I've seen in any movie. Sure, the Ewoks had the element of surprise and used their surroundings to their advantage, but the Empire had an AT-AT. Let me repeat that. THE EMPIRE HAD AN AT-AT ON ENDOR! Why was it not used?
Darth Vader Yelling "Noooo!"
There isn't much else to say. He sounded like an idiot. The one positive take away from this horrible scream is that Jake Lloyd no longer holds all ten of Darth Vader's most embarrassing moments.
The Fastest Way Is Through The Core Of The Planet
"Wesa give yousa una bongo. Da speedest way tooda Naboo tis goin' through de planet core. Now go." Um. Didn't we just see the invasion army in a forest directly above the city that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon swam to? I'm not a scientist, but going through a planet's core seems like a dangerous and overly long way to get anywhere.
I fully support the idea of Anakin Skywalker being an idiot around women, but the floating fruit was too much. I'm convinced George Lucas thought he was creating the next Lady and the Tramp-like spaghetti moment with this laughably bad flirt scene.
Everyone Knows Everyone
I guess we're supposed to believe that the galaxy far, far away is no bigger than Fargo, North Dakota. Every character seems to have some kind of history in this universe. Making Princess Leia the sister of Luke Skywalker should have been the end of it. The prequels took it a step further with Anakin making C-3PO, Chewbacca spending time with Yoda, and Boba Fett, well, just being in the prequel movies to begin with.
Greedo Shot First
In the blu-ray release I wouldn't be surprised if Han and Greedo hug it out. I'll never understand why George Lucas decided to make Han look like less of a bad ass. That's who he is!
"The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together." Just kidding! It's actually created by microorganisms in your blood.
Boba Fett's Death
I know he's "technically" still alive in the expanded universe fiction, but he went down like a chump in Return of the Jedi. Now that I think about it, maybe the Empire hired the cheapest bounty hunters they could find. Maybe he wasn't so great after all...
Jar Jar Binks
No surprise here. Jar Jar Binks is the absolute worst thing to happen to any fictional universe ever. I get angry just thinking about him. I can't think of any other character or person alive that makes me feel like this. "I don't know. Mesa day startin pretty okee-day with a brisky morning munchy, then BOOM! Gettin' very scared and grabbin' that Jedi and POW! Mesa here! Mesa gettin' very very scared!" WTF, George.