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My Ideal Saturday

by Andrew Reiner on Aug 26, 2011 at 08:30 AM

For the life of me, I cannot remember the last time I had a weekend play out the way I wanted it to. Work usually bleeds over onto at least one of the weekend days, and the house usually needs cleaning or repair. And before you ask about friends and family, I devote far too much time both of them (both are overrated, in my opinion). I'm not complaining, mind you. I just wish I had one Saturday to myself.

Here's how that day would play out...

10:02AM: I WAKE UP TO THE SMELL OF A BACON BREAKFAST

10:22AM: A MAJOR THUNDERSTORM HITS, MAKING IT IMPOSSIBLE TO GO OUTSIDE

10:23AM: I'M FORCED TO EITHER PLAY A GAME...

...OR WATCH A MOVIE

12:01PM: I TAKE A SHORT BREAK TO EAT AN AMAZING MACARONI LUNCH

12:18PM: I RETRO GAME

1:05PM: I BOOT UP THE CUBS GAME ON MY IPAD

3:00PM: I WATCH DOCTOR WHO...

...BUT ONLY THE SERIES WITH AMY POND

4:00PM: THE STORM LETS UP AND I GO ACTION FIGURE SHOPPING

4:45PM: THE BEST KIND OF GIRL SCOUT COOKIES ARE DELIVERED TO MY DOORSTEP

5:23PM: I IGNORE A TEXT MESSAGE FROM GI'S DAN RYCKERT AND LAUGH ABOUT IT

5:24PM: I GO BACK TO GAMING. THIS TIME WITH FRIENDS.

7:30PM: I READ A GRAPHIC NOVEL ABOUT SUPERHEROES BEING MEAN TO OTHER SUPERHEROES

9:30PM: A FIVE MINUTE BREAK LEADS TO DINNER BEING MADE

10:00PM: I TROLL AND ARGUE WITH PEOPLE IN THE ELDER SCROLLS FORUMS

11:00PM: I DEDICATE AN HOUR TO THE BOOK I'll NEVER FINISH WRITING

1:04AM: I GO OUTSIDE TO WATCH A NEIGHBOR GET ARRESTED SINCE I LIVE IN THE HOOD

4:00AM: I RAISE MY COD KILL TO DEATH RATIO

4:02AM: I CRAWL INTO BED AND WATCH A TV SERIES UNTIL I FALL ASLEEP

5:30AM: I DREAM ABOUT DINOSAURS