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How I Wish My DOA: Paradise Pictures Would Have Come Out
It's been a fairly light month for reviews. After the blitzkrieg of Mass Effect 2, Bioshock 2, Heavy Rain, Bad Company 2, God of War III, and more, it's pretty slim pickings around here right now. That's why I reviewed Dead Or Alive: Paradise this month. If you haven't read my review, I can sum up the game by saying that you creepily take pictures of near-naked digitized women on a beach. That's about it. They lather themselves up in lotion, share ice cream cones, and generally prance around with unearthly (and unnerving) boob physics. It's a bad game.
Since the "gameplay" amounts to little more than snapping pictures, I was hoping something even remotely interesting would happen. Even Pokemon Snap had the occasional moment of excitement, so why not here? Unfortunately, my girl Tina did little more than giggle and whine about being too hungry. These didn't turn out to be the most exciting shots (see above), so I decided to whip out the Photoshop and manufacture my ideal Dead Or Alive: Paradise shots:
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