Cover Your Disgusting Body With A Link/Lincoln Mashup Shirt
Nobody wants to see your pale, hairy, vein-strewn torso. Cover up that nasty business with a shirt already. What's that? You don't own one? Well head over to Threadless and pick up one of their latest creations, called Abraham LINKoln. That one part is in capital letters in case you didn't understand that it's a hybrid between the 16th president of the United States and that Link guy from those Zelda games. Get it?
The shirt comes in brown, it's $20, and as you can see in the photo above, it's fully compatible with horrible beards.