Consumer Electronics Silliness: The Wild Sights Of CES 2011
The annual Consumer Electronics Show is a time for the tech industry’s biggest manufacturers and designers to gather together and show off their wares. Some of the biggest consumer electronic innovations of the last several decades were first displayed during past CES events. But not every new technology is a winner. This year we hit the show floor to scope out some of the strange sights of CES 2011.
Avenger – We were a little disappointed that mod company N-Controller hadn’t figured out a way to turn Xbox 360 controllers into spider mines. Instead, the straps and levers on its Avenger Xbox 360 controller attachment are designed to allow players to hit the controller’s face buttons without moving their thumbs off the joysticks. Gee, we wonder why Microsoft didn’t just make the Xbox 360’s pad like this in the first place.
iPod Watch Case – Dorks were beginning to worry that they’d look too cool walking around with one of Apple’s new iPod Nanos. Enter Speck. Now dorks everywhere can turn their iPod into a neon watch that should drive away members of the opposite sex.
The Wii That Blinds – When we first saw this jewel studded Wii on the show floor we said, “What the f*** is that?” Now we’re showing it to you, so you can say the same thing.
Inflatable Carts – CTA Digital rolled out these inflatable carts, perfect for playing Mario Kart Wii. As soon as we sat down on the thing, however, it deflated along with our self-esteem.
Digital Bowling Balls – CTA Digital was on a roll this year. They also invented something lamer than having a bowling ball with your name on it. How do these bowling balls work with Microsoft’s Kinect and Sony’s Move? Who cares?
GM’s EN-V – General Electric showed off the EN-V (pronounced Envy), a tiny car that can be programmed to drive and park itself, but only holds two people. Many questions followed. Is GM expecting a massive population plunge? Will old people still be able to leave their turn signals on all the time? Didn’t Steve Urkel used to drive one of these?
Batteries – Apparently, they're Jackie Chan flavored.
??? – We don’t even know.
Look who else showed up to CES – Lady Gaga!
Portable Security – Do you find it inconvenient to continually pack up your home’s metal detector every time you move? Maybe you need a security system that can fold up, roll away, and leave areas unguarded.
The Victoria Line – These “timeless” pieces of jewelry are actually Bluetooth earpieces. Sound ridiculous?
There. See how that’s suppose to work.
Fling Joystick – Touch pad gaming has never been as tactile as it is on a system actually designed for gaming. Ten One Design has tried to remedy part of the problem with these joystick attachments for the iPad. We’d like to make fun of them, but they actually work pretty well
Bruce Lee iPhone Cases – As if having the Green Hornet turned into a Seth Rogan movie wasn’t a big enough stain on Bruce Lee’s legacy, now his image is being plastered on iPhone cases. He made good kung-fu films, but now we have Keanu Reeves. It’s time to let Bruce go.