Feature

Matching All 45 U.S. Presidents To All 45 Chrono Cross Party Members

by Joe Juba on Aug 07, 2017 at 03:45 PM

The United States of America has had 45 presidents. Chrono Cross has 45 characters you can recruit as party members. Despite existing in different realities, our commanders-in-chief share some staggering similarities with the denizens of the classic PlayStation RPG – including their hobbies, mannerisms, and physical appearances. But which pairings work the best?

We don’t need to keep explaining how this works; you’re probably sick of seeing “Which president approximately equals which Chrono Cross character” lists all over the internet by now, but we’ll try to throw in some nontraditional picks to surprise you. So strap yourself in, because all of this is about to make complete and total sense.

01. George Washington = Kid
If you had to choose a single person to represent the concept of President of the United States, you would choose George Washington. Likewise, Kid is the face of Chrono Cross. Even though she’s not technically the protagonist, she is at the center of the story, and that visual of her on the beach is the first image that comes to many players’ minds when they think of the game.

02. John Adams = Leena
Leena falls into the "sweet girl next door" archetype. That means her identity is tied to a particular residence (or proximity to one) – just like John Adams! He was the first president to live in the White House, forever associating him with that official abode.

03. Thomas Jefferson = Luccia
People don’t call you “Father of the Declaration of Independence” or “The Sage of Monticello” if you’re an idiot. Thomas Jefferson was a brilliant man, so he can only rightly be matched with the smartest Chrono Cross character: the genius scientist Luccia, who creates her own experimental lifeforms.

04. James Madison = Razzly
Standing 5’ 4” and weighing about 100 pounds, James Madison is the shortest and lightest president. Razzly is 3’ 7” and 11 pounds, which also makes her exceptionally short and light. Plus, since she’s a fairy and probably glows and/sparkles, she’s got another version of “light” going for her.

05. James Monroe = Harle
Apart from her outfit and makeup, Harle’s defining characteristic is her dialect, which has a heavy French influence. James Monroe was a diplomat in Paris for a time and was fluent in French, so this is a match made in le paradis.

06. John Quincy Adams = Viper
The resemblance here is uncanny. Chrono Cross is all about alternate dimensions and stuff, so John Quincy Adams and General Viper are likely just different manifestations of the exact same person.

07. Andrew Jackson = Glenn
Glenn is a skilled swordsman, notable for his ability to wield the legendary blade Einlanzer. In fact, he can get two versions of the sword and DUAL-wield them! Andrew Jackson was likewise known for DUEL-wielding; he infamously killed the attorney Charles Dickinson in a duel.

08. Martin Van Buren = Guile
For his acumen in navigating the political landscape, Martin Van Buren earned the nickname “Little Magician.” So, the leap to Guile’s title (“Actual Magician”) isn’t a stretch at all.

09. William Henry Harrison = Skelly
William Henry Harrison is known for one thing: dying a month after his inauguration (the shortest presidential term in history). Skelly is dead circus performer who continues to exist as an animated skeleton, which makes him a macabre but apt match for a man whose existence is defined by death.

10. John Tyler = Van
Go ahead and recite everything you remember about the accomplishments of President John Tyler. Now recite everything you remember about Van and his storyline in Chrono Cross. Are you done? Of course you are, because nothing about these equally unremarkable figures stands out.

11. James K. Polk = Mel
Mel isn’t particularly powerful or important; her most notable characteristic is the fact that she is 10 years old. Of course, no presidents ever took office at that young age, but James K. Polk had the nickname "Young Hickory," which is close enough.

12. Zachary Taylor = Orcha
We were too lazy to do any research on who Zachary Taylor was or what he did, so we just started rearranging the letters in his name. That eventually gave us: “Lazy? Try a Orcha!” So there you have it. He’s a Orcha.

13. Millard Fillmore = Macha
Chrono Cross/president enthusiasts can rattle off dozens of ways these two fan-favorites are connected. We’re going to skip all of those obvious ones, instead going with the fact they both have two children – one male and one female. Fillmore had Mary and Millard, while Macha has Korcha and Mel.

14. Franklin Pierce = Steena
For religious reasons, Franklin Pierce was the only president to “affirm” rather than “swear” the oath of office. Steena is also devout in her faith, being raised as a shrine maiden and studying prophesies. Or, hey, if that doesn’t do it for you: His last name is “Pierce” and Steena’s weapon is a sword.

15. James Buchanan = Draggy
Did you know that James Buchanan was the only president who was a lifelong bachelor? It’s true. Did you know that Draggy is the last surviving dragon, which means that he will never find a mate, dooming him to a life of bachelorhood until he dies alone? Also true.

16. Abraham Lincoln = Orlha
Orlha and Abraham Lincoln are connected by a bond that joins many companions: alcohol – specifically, the ability to serve it. Orlha is the bartender in Guldove, and Lincoln co-owned a tavern licensed to sell liquor in New Salem, Illinois.

17. Andrew Johnson = Pierre
Pierre is an aspiring hero, but he’s in a game that’s practically bursting with heroic figures. Pierre is constantly overshadowed by the accomplishments of others – a feeling that may have been familiar to Andrew Johnson, the president who succeeded Abraham Lincoln.

18. Ulysses S. Grant = Zappa
In his younger days, Zappa was a powerful warrior before turning to the quieter life of a blacksmith. Ulysses S. Grant was Commanding General of the Union Army during the Civil War, but when his fighting days were done, he turned to politics instead of hot metal.

19. Rutherford B. Hayes = Fargo
North Dakota wasn’t a state yet in 1878, but that year Rutherford B. Hayes made the first presidential visit to the town called Fargo – so he gets paired up with the pirate called Fargo.

20. James Garfield = Lynx
Lynx is a feline demi-human. James Garfield was a full-fledged human. However, Garfield happens to share part of his name with a popular cartoon cat, and the kitty connection is too purrfect to ignore.

21. Chester Arthur = Karsh
In Chrono Cross, characters have “innate” colors, which determines their elemental aptitudes and vulnerabilities. Karsh is innate green, and so was President Chester Arthur (though the point is contentious among some historians).

22. (and 24.) Grover Cleveland = Serge
Bear with us here: Grover Cleveland is the only president to serve non-consecutive terms. He was our 22nd president, and after some time away, came back as our 24th president. Serge is the protagonist we start with in Chrono Cross. He swaps into Lynx’s body for a while somewhere in the middle, but then his true form returns – a non-consecutive party leader!

23. Benjamin Harrison = Radius
Nothing says “I am experienced and in charge” like a full, white beard. Both Radius and Harrison figured out that your opinions automatically seem wiser when your mouth is obscured by lots of white hair.

25. William McKinley = Zoah
Denali is a mountain in Alaska, but before its official name change, you may have known it as Mt. McKinley (named after the president). With his towering height and burly physique, Zoah is also a mountain of a man.

26. Theodore Roosevelt = Greco
Greco is a wrestler, and that sport was also a favorite of Theodore Roosevelt. He didn’t have psychic powers like Greco (probably), but Roosevelt was known to train with wrestling champions to enhance his athletic prowess.

27. William Taft = Irenes
William Taft was a large man, rumored to have gotten stuck in a White House bathtub. If true, and if he somehow hadn’t been dislodged, Tub-Taft would have spent his life submerged in water, just like the mermaid Irenes.

28. Woodrow Wilson = Doc
Though we have had many well-educated presidents, Woodrow Wilson is the only one to have a doctorate degree. He obtained a Ph.D from Johns Hopkins University, which means he’s the only president we can call “doc.”

29. Warren G. Harding = Miki
From Teapot Dome to his extramarital affairs, Warren G. Harding is associated with scandal. And, uh, Miki is a dancer, which some people in history might have found scandalous, depending on the dance?

30. Calvin Coolidge = Riddel
Riddel is a reserved and soft-spoken noble, traits that seem at odds with the charisma we expect from the president. However, Calvin Coolidge was also famously reticent, earning him the nickname "Silent Cal."

31. Herbert Hoover = Poshul
Poshul is an annoying talking dog, and nobody enjoys a single second this stupid character is on the screen. For a president who was equally reviled in his time, look no further than Herbert Hoover. He was in office during Great Depression, which didn’t endear him to the American public.

32. Franklin Delano Roosevelt = Pip
Pip is a one-of-a-kind ally who evolves depending on the spells it interacts with. The catch? You need to spend time with him in your party. When it comes to spending time together, no president beats FDR; he was elected four consecutive times (the only person to serve more than two terms), and held the position from 1933 until his death in 1945.

33. Harry Truman = Turnip
In 1948, Harry Truman called for a special session of congress known as the Turnip Day Session. As a turnip that somehow came to life, Turnip would likely appreciate a legislative period bearing the name of his kind, and get along well with the man who declared it.

34. Dwight Eisenhower = Starky
No, this isn’t another “they look similar” entry. The reason Eisenhower and Starky are two peas in a pod is this: NASA was established by Eisenhower’s signature, and Starky is alien that NASA’s endeavors might one day discover. Also, they look similar.

35. John F. Kennedy = Korcha
Korcha runs a ferry, and JFK loved sailing. You get these two salty sea dogs together, and they would talk for hours about water, barnacles, wind, and whatever else sailors talk about. Ranking the hottest fish, maybe?

36. Lyndon B. Johnson = Marcy
Marcy is known as the “Diva of the 4 Devas,” because she likes to get her way. LBJ knew that feeling; he was a notorious bully as president, using intimidation and threats to ensure that things went the way he wanted them to.

37. Richard Nixon = Sneff
Sneff is an illusionist, but what is an “illusion”? Ultimately, it’s just a trick meant to deceive. That’s why Richard "Tricky Dick" Nixon would be a great addition to Sneff’s act – until he’s forced to resign in disgrace.

38. Gerald Ford = Norris
Norris is a high ranking member of the military, which means his uniform must be decorated with all sorts of medals. Gerald Ford had a well-adorned uniform himself – but he earned merit badges. Ford ascended the ranks of the Boy Scouts of America and became an Eagle Scout.

39. Jimmy Carter = Janice
Once, when Jimmy Carter was out fishing, a “swamp rabbit” swam toward his boat, and he shooed it away. The media latched onto the event, which became known as “The Rabbit Incident,” which is why Carter is roughly the same as Janice, a weird rabbit-lady.

40. Ronald Reagan = NeoFio
NeoFio is a flower, and basically everyone likes flowers. But has any president done any specific service to advancing the interests of flowers? Indeed! In 1986, Ronald Reagan declared the rose to be the national flower of the United States.

41. George H.W. Bush = Funguy and Mojo
We couldn’t pick just one Chrono Cross analog for George H. W. Bush. First, he established something called the “mushroom council,” which the bizarre mushroom man Funguy undoubtedly advocates. Second, Bush popularized the phrase "voodoo economics," which makes him the perfect fit for Mojo – a creepy, sentient, dancing voodoo doll.

42. Bill Clinton = Nikki
If you had to guess, which of these two would you say has a band called “Magical Dreamers”? Is it Nikki, the eccentric bard with a feather boa? Or is it Bill Clinton, the guy from the ‘90s who plays the saxophone? It could go either way!

43. George W. Bush = Sprigg
Sprigs and Bushes are both botany-related, so this one’s a no-brainer.

44. Barack Obama = Leah
The Obamadon is a prehistoric lizard named in honor of our 44th president. Since Leah is a young girl from that era, it’s possible she was familiar with the animal. Maybe she had a pet Obamadon, or maybe her parents packed her Obamadon sandwiches. Regardless, President Barack Obama and Leah share a special bond.

45. Donald Trump = Grobyc
Grobyc and Donald Trump are from different worlds – one is a business tycoon who became president, and the other is a killer cyborg. However, in their separate walks of life, they managed to find the same hairstylist to produce an improbably swoopy coif.