Ranking Dream Daddy's Greatest Dads From Worst To Best

by Elise Favis on Aug 04, 2017 at 12:46 PM

Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator has taken the internet by storm in the last week with its instantaneous popularity. This surprisingly earnest dating simulator tasks you with wooing one of seven hot dads, from a music enthusiast to a chubby father with a competitive streak. But which dad is the best dad to pursue? We ranked all the fathers from worst to best, noting which ones you should spend most of your time with.

This feature was co-written by associate editors Elise Favis and Javy Gwaltney.

7. Joseph
Pretentious and already married, Joseph is easily the least likable dad. His family is only mildly interested in conversing with you, such as his demonic twin children who take The Shining a little too seriously. While the creepy twins gave us a good laugh at times, Joseph has few redeemable qualities. On the surface, he's the run-of-the-mill friendly neighbor and minister who puts on bake sales and sets up church events. When you get to know him better, you discover a man who leads a stressful and unhappy life (plus, he might be the leader of a cult?). It doesn't help that Mary, his wife, has a bone to pick with you, which makes for uncomfortable situations. 

6. Craig
Do you even bro? Probably not as hard as Craig bros, bro. Craig is Dream Daddy's jock, but, like everyone else in the game, there's more here to our gym-loving pop than meets the eye. He might have the frat boy aesthetic down but he's a genuinely kind man who loves his three daughters, including little River who he carries around with him all the time, and is even on good terms with his ex-wife. It doesn't hurt he was your character's best friend in college, earning the name "Keg Stand Craig." If you're into dating one of your closest buds, Craig's probably your go-to dad.

5. Brian
Brian is a jolly, chubby man who is the most fatherly of all the dads. He's a genuinely good guy who loves fishing and friendly competition, but sometimes his competitive side gets the better of him. Although he's one of the most friendly dads, the constant pressure of competition between you gets tiring. His story arc, however, wraps up in a really satisfying way, and Brian can easily win your heart once you hit the third date after you see his vulnerabilities. Plus, his dog Maxwell and his daughter Daisy are sweet and endearing.

4. Damien
Known as the goth dad, Damien wears Victorian-style attire and is quite formal with you. He might seem strange, but like the other dads, there's more to Damien than meets the eye. He's terrified of horror films but pretends not to be, and has insecurities about his true self, but will go to great lengths to appreciate the things he loves. He has deep thoughts on life and death as you visit a graveyard with him, which turns out to be more intriguing than morbid.

3. Robert
As one of the more mysterious and aloof characters, Robert holds his cards close to his chest. His story arc is one of the more fascinating narratives in Dream Daddy, as long as you don't hook up with him in the beginning moments of the game. He's a weird guy on the surface who has a tough exterior, but he's sweet and complex when you get to know him better. His backstory gives a pretty good explanation of why he acts the way he does, and helping him face these issues is fulfilling.

2. Hugo
Yeah, ok, look: Hugo can be kind of a know-it-all and a stuck-up, but good lord, that mustache. And his eloquence. And how far he's willing to go for his students, including your daughter, Amanda. Sophisticated and emotionally genuine are worth the price of this hipster teacher's occasional bouts of arrogance.

1. Mat
Mat is the first dad you meet. He's also the best. A goofy, handsome coffee-shop owner who likes to make legendary band puns, Mat's backstory is tragic and he emerges as Dream Daddy's most complex and vulnerable character. His displays of awkwardness also help make his character feel like an actual person than a facile dreamboat. While your dad and Amanda's relationship might make up the heart of Dream Daddy, Mat's characterization is the apex of the romantic side of the game, showing off how vulnerability and emotional honesty can be both an attractive quality in a person and make for a fascinating game experience.

For more on Dream Daddy, be sure to check out our review or our Virtual Life column.