Intern Doug’s Bold Post-E3 2017 Predictions

Now that E3 is wrapping up, it’s time to dissect all of the news and make predictions about the show’s most exciting titles. Throughout E3 I’ve been keeping track of the important details that went under the radar, and after a long night of connecting the dots in a cool book I found at the local bookstore, I’ve come up with some initially surprising but well-reasoned predictions about this year’s hottest games.

Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle
These Crossovers Are Gonna Be a Thing From Now On.

The news of a Metroid II remake from Nintendo was exciting because it seemed like they could be testing the waters for a brand-new 2D Metroid. Unfortunately, that’s just wishful thinking. Instead, this lays the groundwork for the next crossover game featuring The Legend of Zelda and Lego. Now before you assume that I just selected a random Nintendo franchise and another popular kid-friendly one, I have evidence. On a recent podcast we talked about the Metroid II remake and among our guests we had the director of Lego Marvel Superheroes 2 and the director of XCOM 2 (the game from which Mario + Rabbids took its gameplay). Coincidence? I think not.

Skyrim(s)
Collect Them All!

The Elder Scrolls VI will be out this year, but there’s a catch. It involves collecting all of the various editions of Skyrim. Just like Bionicles toys (Transformers was before my time), if you gather all of the collectibles, then you can put them together into a bigger and more awesome thing. Once you have every edition of Skyrim, you just need to carefully slice all of the discs and then use pieces of the Switch cartridge to compile the shards into one complete Elder Scrolls VI disc. Place it in your console of choice and make sure to thank me later.

Super Mario Odyssey
The First Mario

Fans love piecing together timelines, so why not give Mario a one? This wedding that Bowser has planned seems like the most well-organized and well-orchestrated kidnapping scheme that he’s ever had – I mean he even hired evil wedding planners! This isn’t a culmination of many previous failed attempts, but an enthusiastic first outing. After Mario inevitably defeats him in Odyssey, he loses hope, and throughout the rest of the series’ parallel timelines the focus of his plots devolves into just kidnapping her. 

Anthem
A Never-Ending Story

We still have a lot of questions about the story in Anthem. The one thing we do know, however, is that whether it’s a focused arc of missions or just a shell that incorporates all of the various multiplayer escapades, there’s certainly not going to be a conclusion. After BioWare destroyed countless lives with the Mass Effect 3 ending, they knew they could never put themselves in that position again. The company has announced that writer of the first two Mass Effect games is involved, so the story is in good hands. Just don’t count on it ever ending.

Shadow of the Colossus
A New Challenger Approaches...

Taking down the Colossi is a weird experience that is both exhilarating and sad at the same time, and both of those feelings would be even more powerful if you had a history with the beast you were killing. For this reason, Trico will be coming to Shadow of the Colossus. Trico will have to answer for all those times it didn’t come when you called or inexplicably turned around and walked in the opposite direction of where you were pointing. At the same time that you get your revenge from all of the frustration it caused, you’ll also be devastated because at the end of the day, Trico was really a lovable dog-cat-bird-thing.

Garfield GO
The Surprise Hit of the Summer

“Garfield GO is a brand new augmented reality treasure hunting game, featuring everyone’s favorite lasagna-loving cat!” Are you hungry for fun!? If you thought that the fervor for Pokémon GO was mind-blowing last summer, hold onto your cranium because it’s just getting started. It was clear that other properties would likely start jumping onto the augmented reality hunting train, but nobody could have predicted that the genre would peak so fast. Garfield GO is everything one could want from an AR game (you can even win real prizes!), so don’t be surprised when you see masses of people gathering at your local park with plates of lasagna.

God of War
Where’d the Baby Come From?

One of the biggest mysteries surrounding the new God of War is the origin of Kratos’ son. When did Kratos have a child and with whom? These questions will certainly be answered, although probably not as tactfully as one would hope. The serious discussions of family in the previous games were juxtaposed with some gross sex minigames that involved carefully timed button presses, and the new God of War will innovate by bringing these two disparate elements together. Where did the boy come from? Just spin the analog stick and you’ll find out.

This is by no means the full list of predictions that we can glean from this year's E3. Let me know which big ones I missed in the comments below!