Feature

Game Informer’s Ultimate Super Fun List: Top Trees In Gaming

by Ben Reeves on Dec 23, 2018 at 04:30 PM

Ever wonder what are the best trees in gaming? No? Look it’s the holidays and we’re strapped for stories. Let’s just run with this and see what happens.

#1 Deku Tree – Why does the Deku tree outrank every other tree in gaming? Because it’s from The Legend of Zelda, and The Legend of Zelda is like the coolest thing ever. Haven’t you heard? Everything Zelda related should be ranked number one. That’s how journalism works. Also, the Deku Tree has a mustache. Double win.

#2 Teldrassil – The old world tree from World Of Warcraft is home to the Night Elves. Of course, the Night Elves suck because they are part of the Alliance, so we weren’t going to include Teldrassil. However, then we heard that sometimes stupid Night Elf noobs fall off the tree and die, so we moved this tree up to number two. (This isn’t in a Zelda game after all.)

#3 Sunwood or Sudowoodoo or Sunwoody – Whatever that tree thingy from Pokémon is called. This tree placed third because it’s a tree in a video game, so it qualified for the list.

...

Boy, this is embarrassing. You see, we had planned to do this big elaborate story about the top trees in gaming, but it turns out that there really aren’t many gaming trees worth writing about. I know, we’re upset too. We were planning on making award stickers and everything.

Well, we sort of blew our wad there. Our mistake. Don’t bother scrolling down any further. This story is over. We already cancelled the caterer.

 

...

 

What? Why do you keep scrolling down? Is that a mistake? We told you, this story is over.

Do you still want more gaming tree related content? Are you crazy? There really aren’t that many cool gaming trees out there.

Seriously, that super happy tree from Yoshi’s Story and that tree from Kirby’s Dreamland that blows trash at you can go jump into a forest fire for all we care. Go check your email or something. That would be more interesting than this article.

 

 

...

 

 

Okay, come on dude! Why do you have to be like this? Stop scrolling.

You keep moving down the page, so now we feel like we have to give you more content. Now we have to come up with a fourth best tree in all of gaming, so...

#4 Diablo’s Skill Tree – What! You think that doesn’t count? It’s a tree. It’s in a game. You pressed us! We had to do something. Now stop scrolling down, this story is over.

 

...

 

Wow, we didn’t think you’d make it this far. We really had no idea people loved trees to this extreme. Fine, we’ll give you one more piece of tree related content, but then we’re cutting you off. It can’t be healthy to think about trees this much.

Secondary Award: The worst Tree in Gaming

Any tree that has fallen to block your path in a way where you can clearly see where you need to go, but that damn tree is in your way and you can’t jump over it even though it’s only like three feet high and your character should easily be able to jump over the thing, so instead you have to traipse through the forest for another 20 minutes before you emerge on the other side of the path. Screw that tree.

That’s it. This list is over. Now go draw, climb, or plant a tree, you crazy tree-loving nut.