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The Coolest Fallout Merch Money Can Buy

by Joseph Knoop on Oct 28, 2015 at 01:20 PM

The buzz for Fallout 4 feels as hot as a nuclear blast. The series' popularity means there's a ton of official and fan-made merchandise out there for dedicated Wastelanders to find. Whether it's something for your tin shack or your suite in Tenpenny Tower, this is some of the coolest Fallout merchandise out there.

Nav: $10 – $20 | $20 – $40 | $40 – $70 | $80 and Above

Yes Man Shot Glass - $14.50

Some people have trouble declining a drink already; this Yes Man glass may render owners completely incapable of saying no. The ceramic glass holds 1.9 ounces of your beverage of choice and comes with either a white or black interior. 

Liberty Prime Poster - $15.00

Democracy may be non-negotiable, and the affordable price on this resoundingly patriotic poster is equally so for any Fallout fan on a budget. Printed on semi-gloss paper and available in a number of sizes, this poster is sure to remind all visitors that death is a preferable alternative to communism.

Laser Cut Brotherhood of Steel Earrings - $15.00

Flaunt your obsession with hoarding technology with these handmade earrings. The wooden accessories sport an ultra-slick Brotherhood of Steel logo etching and are completely water-resistant thanks to a non-toxic finish.

Thirst Zapper Shirt - $16.00

This stylishly vintage t-shirt is a great way to display your love for Nuka Cola. Available in both men’s and women’s sizes, it’ll make the wearer feel rad without actually giving them Rads.

Fallout Vault Boy Thumbs Up Bi-Fold Wallet - $16.50

It’s nice to feel comfortable with spending hundreds of dollars on Fallout merchandise, and that’s exactly what this bi-fold wallet accomplishes. In addition to reducing buyer’s remorse with Vault Boy’s approving gesture, this snazzy wallet includes card slots, a billfold, and a clear ID display. A compartment for holding bottle caps is conspicuously absent, however.

Fallout V.A.T.S. Throw Pillow - $19.84

There’s nothing like a constant reminder of how awful you are at surviving in Fallout, as demonstrated by this comfortable and slightly infuriating pillow. The soft polyester poplin fabric sports a double-sided print of V.A.T.S.’ worst possible image, plus a concealed zipper. This thing is an unexpected Super Mutant attack away from shattering countless household lamps.

Nav: $10 – $20 $20 – $40 | $40 – $70 | $80 and Above

“You’re Special” Customizable Board Book - $20.00

Those other Vault babies are total chumps. Yours is a one-of-a-kind, S.P.E.C.I.A.L. little tyke, and what better way to illustrate that than with a personalized “You’re Special” board book? Available in a pristine vector graphic format or a weathered Wasteland edition, buyers can choose their own allotment of stat points between strength, perception, endurance, charisma, intelligence, agility, and luck. Or you might consider getting it for a friend’s baby shower and letting them know what you really think of little Johnny’s chances in sports.

Power Armor Action Figure - $22.00

Ghouls and raiders will quake beneath the six-inch boot of this fearsome power armor figure ripped straight from the battlefield. Featuring a laser rifle and the equally searing visage of the Brotherhood of Steel, this action figure is ready to take on any threat beside the Lone Wanderer.

Fallout 4 Vault Boy Approves Beanie - $22.99

Vault Boy approves of keeping your noggin warm during the not-so-nuclear winter. One-size fits all in this comfortable knitted cap, and the Vault Boy print allows wearers to thumbs-up anything using only their foreheads. Finally.

“The Happiest Place Left On Earth” Wasteland T-Shirt - $23.15

It’s a small, irradiated world after all with this Disneyland-inspired T-shirt. Featuring a Disney-fied Vault Boy strutting his magical stuff, you’re sure to impress (or at least momentarily confuse) the biggest fans of each franchise with this item.

Fallout Monopoly - $40.00

At this point, it’s probably easier to count which franchises don’t have a Monopoly board of their own. Still, this Fallout Monopoly board is a worthwhile item for any boardgaming enthusiast, with six unique player tokens, a custom board featuring your favorite Wasteland locations, and your standard allotment of paper money imprinted with Nuka-Cola caps.

Nav: $10 – $20 $20 – $40 | $40 – $70 | $80 and Above

Fallout: Vault 111 Vault-Tec Bag - $42.99

It’s not always about the tools needed to survive an apocalyptic wasteland. You also need a good way to transport those materials. This Vault-Tec backpack fills that need, featuring a folded top secured by two canary yellow straps and a 111 print to ensure people know which Vault you’re reppin’. In case you’re unsure, it’s Vault 111. 

Ladies Vault-Tec Cardigan - $44.00

Ladies seeking a more understated expression of their Fallout fandom can snuggle up in this comfy cardigan. The charcoal grey sweater features quilted front pockets, an embossed Vault-Tec logo on the chest and back, and custom Vault-Tec gunmetal buttons.

Fallout 4 Christmas Sweater - $49.99

If you’re not getting Fallout 4 at launch, perhaps it’ll be resting underneath the Christmas tree in December. This classically designed sweater let's you wish a happy holiday to any Vault Dweller with a winking Vault Boy and Vault-Tec logo on the front. Maybe you can buy two. I hear nuclear winters get rough.

Fallout Anthology - $50.00

The ultimate Fallout fan deserves the ultimate compilation. This anthology bundles Fallout, Fallout 2, Fallout Tactics, Fallout 3: Game of the Year Edition, and Fallout New Vegas: Ultimate Edition. The replica mini-nuke storage case even has a space reserved for your inevitable purchase of Fallout 4. Best of all, the case emits actual bomb sound effects that simulate the horror thrill of nuclear war in your home.

Fallout 4 Vault 111 Sole Survivor Hoodie - $54.99

Sometimes you’ve just got to pull up your hood and weather out the harsher elements of the Wasteland. No need to do that looking like a raider, though. This officially licensed Vault-Tec hoodie features the Vault 111 logo on the back, two pockets to store an extra Sunset Sarsaparilla in, and the Vault-Tec logo on the left sleeve.

Fallout 4 Vault Dweller Merch Pack – $61.34

When you can’t decide on any one piece of Fallout memorabilia, turn to this sampler of collectibles. In addition to a nice yellow/blue box, you’ll also snag a Vault Boy Perception bobblehead, Nuka Cola bottle opener, and an exclusive Nuka Cola T-shirt. Supplies are as limited as clean drinking water, so waiting until November 10 to purchase is ill-advised.

Pip Boy Messenger Bag - $68.00

How do you plan to live out your fantasies of being Fallout New Vegas’ Courier if you don’t have a messenger bag to store your gear and platinum chips in? The bag features an awesome outer flap with a screenprinted Pip-Boy 3000 interface, a padded laptop sleeve, and additional pockets appropriately labeled “stats,” “items,” and “data.” The inside is even printed with a V.A.T.S. screen.

Game Over Wedding Cake Topper - $70.00

Fallout 4’s addicting and time-consuming design is likely to sabotage some marriages. Celebrate (?) the occasion with this humorous cake topper. The gaming groom and bride can be customized – for free – to better match the hair and skin color of you and your future ex-spouse. You can even change the game and beverage, the latter of would be modeled after this drink if you’re a real Fallout fan. 

Nav: $10 – $20 $20 – $40 | $40 – $70 | $80 and Above

Fallout 4 Art Book - $85.00

If it were any other series, a massive art book might be a questionable purchase. Thankfully, Fallout has nearly 20 years of history showcasing desolate vistas and ruined civilizations to awe even the most resistant fans. With only 5,000 copies of this limited edition available, the book features never-before-seen designs from Fallout 4’s environments, characters, weapons, and more. Buyers will also get a special full color mini-lithograph signed by Ray Lederer, concept artist at Bethesda.

Vault-Tec Industries Single Rotation Watch - $150.00

The professional Wasteland wanderer doesn’t let anything get the jump on them, even time. With this limited edition watch (only 1,500 made), a single rotation is all you need to keep up to date. The watch features a 300ft of water resistance and a scratch resistant mineral crystal lens, making no depth too dangerous to plunder.

Fallout 4 Ultimate Vault Dweller’s Survival Guide - $130.00

Speaking of limited bundles, this one is bursting at the seams with Fallout 4 goodness for every breed of fan. Art lovers can admire the premium hardcover book art book, Art of Fallout calendar, and seven lithographs. Need-To-Know-It-Alls have the comprehensive guide, poster-sized world map, and mobile eGuide to sink their teeth into. Fictional beverage connoisseurs should love the Nuka Cola items, which include a metal bottle opener, embroidered patch, and five magnetic bottle caps. The only thing missing from this package is the kitchen sink, but most of those perished after the bombs dropped anyway. 

Fallout 4 Funko Mega Pack Limited Edition - $153.38

Funko’s Pop! series cover seemingly every piece of entertainment media ever, so it’s no surprise Fallout 4 has its own line of the adorable figurines. Modeled after iconic characters such as Vault Boy, glowing Vault Boy, and male/female Lone Wanderers, these dolls should provide fine décor for your office desk or weapon-crafting bench. Amazingly, the Pop! treatment hasn’t made the Death Claw any less terrifying.

Custom PS4 Controller - $158.09

What better way to fight off ravenous hordes of ghouls and deathclaws than with the groove of real luger bullets serving as your controller’s buttons? Sure, some PlayStation controllers have seen a bit of undue wear and tear, but every gash and scuff on this DualShock 4 has a story behind it. At least, that’s what you’ll tell your friends when they ask about it. What? I swear, that super mutant was like this big, man.

Wearable Fallout Enclave Style Helmet 1/1 Scale - $507.45

There’s Fallout fans, and then there are fans willing to craft their own $500 Enclave helmets. Custom props maker Airbrushwerks designed this 3D printed armor (seen on the cover of Fallout 2) with a foam and resin mixture, then printed one-way mirror gold lenses for the eyes. You know, to strike fear in the hearts of your enemies while looking fashionable.