Feature

Gaming’s 10 Biggest ‘First-World Problems’

by Brian Shea on Apr 01, 2015 at 10:15 AM

Game characters have a lot to complain about. Whether it’s the love of your life being stolen by a giant talking dinosaur turtle thing or a nuclear apocalypse wiping out the majority of life on the planet, a lot of video game characters have a rough go. 

Amidst of all of these trials and tragedies, we complain about some of the pettiest things while we’re playing their games. Let’s take a look at some of the dumbest things we whine about while the characters we control are (sometimes literally) going through hell on-screen.

“Your Wallet Is Full”

I don’t think I’ve ever once said, “I have so much money that I actually need a bigger wallet to hold it all.” Even if I did, I probably wouldn’t be complaining about it. In franchises like BioShock, The Legend of Zelda, and Far Cry, however, we find ourselves constantly scrambling to find or craft a bigger wallet. When currency is literally enormous like the rupees in Zelda, this makes sense. Not so much in Far Cry. Still, having too much money falls under the category of “problems you want to have.” Unfortunately, once you get the bigger wallet, it leads you to the new problem of having to find something to spend all of the money it holds.

Your Monsters Are Too Powerful To Capture Weaker Monsters

Walking through the tall grass in a Pokémon game can be a dangerous proposition for a young trainer, but when an experienced player is traveling with a party of thoroughly trained monsters, the wild Pokémon are typically the ones in danger. Unfortunately, when you’re trying to fill out your Pokédex, it’s a bummer when you finally encounter that level 11 Clefairy you’ve been hunting, only to realize that the weakest Pokémon in your party is a level 68 Haunter. Trolling Mt. Moon with this lineup for the sole purpose of catching a Clefairy could be criticized as is poor planning, but we’ve all encountered this situation at some point, and it’s no fun.

Awesome Armor Looks Stupid With Awesome Helmet

You’ve finally found one of the best pieces of armor in the game, and now it’s time to equip it to your character. This is the one you spent your entire night trying to obtain, and now you realize that this awesome chest piece looks completely stupid when you’re wearing it alongside the helmet with the best stats. Great, now the character you spent two hours trying to make look like a more awesome version of you looks like a buffoon thanks to this painfully uncool armor. It’s moments like this that we have to decide whether that extra +15 physical resistance is really worth looking like an idiot and irreparably tarnishing your social reputation.

Having A House So Massive You Can’t Fill It With Enough Stuff

Have you ever thought about expanding your living quarters in real life, only to reconsider when you realize how much more it will cost just to fill it with stuff? Of course not! But in games like The Sims, expansion can happen so quickly that many players don’t have time to consider this very real problem. Because of this, some Sims live in gigantic mansions that are only partially furnished. The horror.

The High-Tech Elevator In Your Awesome Spaceship Takes Forever

The mission has been decided upon and now it’s time to act. After arriving at a nearby star system thousands of light years away in mere minutes, you’re stuck riding in an elevator within that same spaceship for almost as much time. Why does it take 60 seconds to go 20 feet when it took only slightly longer for the same machine to reach another solar system? The real answer may be, “The game is loading,” but what’s the fun in that?

On page 2, we look at the problem of having too nice of a car, too awesome of a gun, too many love interests, and more!

Your Newest Loot Isn’t As Good As Your Current Item

We’ve all blasted through a dungeon or stronghold in search of the next great piece of loot. All players must learn to combat the sadness that follows finding that the piece of loot at the end of the grind isn’t nearly as awesome as the one that helped you get to it. Luckily, in games like Borderlands, Destiny, and Skyrim, there is always more loot to seek out, so the feeling could very well be short-lived. Or you could just learn to be satisfied with already having an awesome piece of equipment. Either way works.

Your Supercar Is Too Powerful To Participate In This Race

Others marvel as the unbelievable street machine you’re driving is racing past through the competition. Now that you’ve conquered some of the more competitive races, it’s time to go back and annihilate your opponents in some of the earlier circuits you skipped during your meteoric rise. You hop in your unbeatable exotic car only to find that the cup you’re eyeing caps the class. Guess it’s time to head back to your starter car. I hope you like racing in a 1994 Toyota Tercel.

Several Love Interests Falling For You, But You Can Only Choose One

When you’re a renowned hero who has saved the city/world/galaxy, chances are people/elves/aliens are going to want to pursue a romantic relationship with you. Unfortunately, the element of choice also applies to having to choose just one of the many potential partners fawning over you. Luckily, with each new game in the BioWare franchises, you can change up your choice, much to the chagrin of your previous partner. Just be sure to let them down easy – unless it’s Kaidan.

Your Team Is Too Good

It’s always good to be on a winning team, but what about when your team is too good? While this can happen in sports games that have you control a created player in a career-focused mode, I’m talking about being on an outstanding team in a competitive shooter. You may win every match, but each glance at the leaderboard is a stark reminder that you’re weak link of your team. Sure, you’re racking up points for assists and team wins, but since you aren’t the top gun you aren’t getting the glory you think you deserve. Teaming up with players who are better than you may be good for leveling up, but your individual stats may suffer.

Needing To Watch/Do A Tutorial On How To Use Your New Superpower

You’ve just acquired a new superpower and now it’s time to test this bad boy out. But just as you get the ability, the action comes to a screeching halt and the game requires you to watch a video on how to use your newfound power. With games like Saints Row, you’re sometimes required to complete a tutorial section of gameplay with each new power. Super-powered life just isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I guess Uncle Ben was right all along.