Eight Monsters That Need To Find A Way Into Evolve
Turtle Rock's multiplayer monster-hunting shooter releases tomorrow, but the game only comes packed with three monsters. That's great for the first few months, but fans are eventually going to want to start hunting some more exotic game. Here's our list of dream monsters we'd like to see included as Evolve DLC. Sure, some of these would require some fancy licensing footwork, but dreaming is free.
8. Godzilla – This is the grandaddy of big monsters, and he would totally fit in with the rest of Evolve's beasts. Atheist lizards might not believe in Godzilla, but this skyscraper-sized behemoth presents a real threat to our team of hunters. Godzilla is adaptable. He can lay waste to an entire forest with his atomic breath and even survive long stretches underwater if he needs to escape the hunters.
7. Kraid – Metroid’s recurring villain Ridley gets a lot of love, but we still have great fondness for Kraid. This three-eyed reptilian alien is one of the largest enemies Samus ever encountered, so it's no wonder that he's a space pirate leader. We don’t know what this guy eats, but his upset stomach is bound to upset a few hunters when it fires off a series of deadly organic spikes. – that is if his boomerang-like nails don’t get them first. This guy's hygiene is almost as bad as Brad Pitts'; that guy's pits smell real brad.
6. Shelob – It’s hard to imagine anything so ugly being someone’s beloved baby, so Shelob was probably never a baby. This giant hobbit-hungry spider once resided in the mountains of Mordor, but has since taken up residence in our nightmares. When Shelob isn’t paralyzing her opponents with venom and fear she could be spinning invisible web-traps for our hunters.
5. Graboids – The name is a little obscure, but these massive sandworms from the Tremors series would pose a gruesome threat to our team since they crawl through the earth and are only vulnerable to bullets when they emerge to bite someone’s body off their face. These creatures are pretty much land sharks, which makes them just as scary as anything in the ocean, but not nearly as wet. Turtle Rock could market this DLC with the line, “We got worms!”
4. Fin Fang Foom – Wondering why I put this obscure Marvel monster on the list? Just look at him. Fin Fang Foom is a shape-shifting alien who left his homeworld centuries ago in order to conquer other planets. Foom has gone toe-to-toe with the Hulk and Thor, so he’s got enough muscle to challenge our hunters. I’d be fooming mad if they didn’t include this character in the game at some point.
3. Devastator – The combination of the six Constructicons, Devastator is an immensely powerful warrior who could take down an army of lesser robots all by himself. Like a real construction crew also destroys your morning commute. Fortunately, since Devastator is made up of six different minds, he often has trouble making a decision, so we imagine that he's hard to control.
2. Charizard – Evolve's monsters are all about evolving over the course of a match, so it makes sense to grab one of the original evolving pocket monsters. Charizard is easily the best of all time (not a subjective thing). Charizard is a monster who could fly over the map and watch the world burn. Of course, at the start of the match he’d just be an adorable little dinosaur that we’d want to cuddle with. However, if you did try to cuddle with him, you’d already be dead.
1. Stay Puft Marshmallow Man – Ghostbusters' lumbering mound of fluff would pose a sugary mess for our group of hunters. He’s a sailor, so he probably gets rowdier on land. Unfortunately, he’d probably give our hunters diabetes after crushing them under a basketball court's worth of whipped sugar. Still, we'd enjoy turning him into a giant s’more.
For a deeper look at Evolve don't forget to check out our Evolve cover hub, or watch our test chamber to see that game in action.