Ten Other Uses For Nintendo’s Amiibo Figures

Like many of you, I got some Nintendo Amiibos for Christmas this year. Unfortunately, I’m visiting my sister on the east coast and I forgot to bring my Wii U, so I decided to experiment with several other uses for Nintendo’s adorable new figures.

1. Pepperoni Placeholder
What’s for dinner? Pizza! Create the perfect pie, and instill a love of cooking in your kids at the same time. Amiibos can be used to create indents in a cheesy pizza foundation that are just the right size for delicious slices of pepperoni. Now your kids will know exactly where to put the pepperoni. Don’t have a kid? Try cooking with a dog or old people.

2. Ostrich Charm
Ostriches love shiny little objects. Use one of Nintendo’s Amiibos to charm any ostrich into a hypnotic sleep and then implant false memories into it subconsciously. Who needs a modern video game when you can watch an ostrich strut around, acting like a giant chicken.

3. Replacement Donatello
My sister had an old box of toys for me from my childhood. It was basically an amazing assortment of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers from when I was a kid. (Remember the figure where Michelangelo fired pizzas from his abs? That one was crazy!) The only problem is that my original Donatello figure seems to have gone missing, which made it hard for me to play with my nephew. So I just explained to the kid that Donatello went to the city, got some plastic surgery, and now goes by the name Link.

If you're allergic to peanuts, consult your doctor before eating Amiibos

4. Last Chance Snack
Hitting the road during the holidays? Don’t leave home without your Amiibos. If you accidentally take a detour and end up lost in the woods slowing starving to death, you’ll be glad you have them. Sure, Amiibos don’t offer any nutritional value, but they will keep your tummy full and your spirits up while you wait for rescue.

5. Melting Stick
Have you ever enjoyed just watching plastic melt? Amiibos are made from a lot of plastic. You can use a BIC lighter to turn an Amiibo into a sad pile of tears, but it might take awhile. If you have a blowtorch, however, you’ll start to see some nearly instant melting. Editor’s note: if you use an Amiibo as a Melting Stick, then it can no longer be used as a Replacement Donatello.

Can you see the ghost in this image? If not, you might have ghost blindness

6. Ghost Medium
Find an abandoned house that looks haunted or journey down to your grandparent’s basement, and get ready for a haunting adventure. Place your Amiibo in the middle of the floor and wait until after midnight. If your Amiibo figure begins to glow, ghosts are trying to communicate with you. Unfortunately, Amiibos don’t provide any way to send messages back to the dead.

7. Scape Goat
During the holidays you’re bound to run into a few family spats. Maybe you ate the last piece of pie. Maybe you woke everyone up during a midnight trip to the bathroom. Maybe you accidentally broke your friend’s snow blower. Whatever the case, blame the entire incident on your new Amiibo friend. When the offended person insists you’re being ridiculous and Amiibos can’t move and aren’t even living things, repeat your assertion that the Amiibo did it. Stick to your guns until the person starts to look confused or throws up their hands and storms out of the room. You’re home free!

8. Multi-System Figure
Try using your Amiibo with your PS4 or Xbox One. That might sound ridiculous since PS4 and Xbox One controllers don’t feature built in NFC technology, and developers would never program support for a Nintendo product into a game that wasn’t releasing on a Nintendo system, but keep trying anyway! You never know when a freak lightning storm will hit your house, cause your systems to bug out, and turn your life into a living dream.

Don't use Amiibos as eye blinders while operating heavy machinery

9. Eye Blinder
Looking to take a little nap after Christmas dinner, but there is still too much activity happening around the house? You don’t need to kill the party by shutting off the Christmas lights early. Just throw a couple Amiibos over your eyes to block out the light and drift off into dreamland. Unfortunately, Amiibos aren’t small enough to be used as earplugs, but if you use an Amiibo as a Melting Stick you might form it into a lucky shape that might fit into your ear.

10. Surprise It's Not Rice
Go to a grocery store and hide your Amiibo behind a bag of Uncle Ben’s brown rice. Then step back and pretend to read the ingredient list on a jar of tomato sauce. As soon as the next shopper moves to grab a bag of rice, watch as their expression turns to surprise upon seeing your Amiibo hiding in the back. This is a fun prank that’s fairly harmless. Warning: Some, less scrupulous shoppers may try to take your Amiibo. Just jump in and explain the prank to them. Most people are willing to be a pretty good sport.