The Five Lamest Final Fantasy Characters

by Joe Juba on Aug 15, 2012 at 01:15 PM

Few thrills in gaming can compare to recruiting an awesome character in an RPG. On the flip side, few disappointments are greater than being saddled with a total load. Fans embrace Final Fantasy for its exceptional stories and characters, but this classic franchise doesn’t always get it right. These are five cases where Final Fantasy gave players less then they deserved in the ally department.

1. Edward (Final Fantasy IV)

We’ll get Edward out of the way first, since any fan knows he’s a lock on this list. Edward is the original lame Final Fantasy character. He’s a bard, so that’s a mark against him right there. One of his special abilities is cowering in fear, which definitely doesn’t help his coolness factor. A key reason that everyone hates Edward, though, is because he sucks so much compared to the other party members. Cecil is a totally awesome dark knight in sweet armor, and Edward tries to attack enemies with the power of music

2. Setzer (Final Fantasy VI)

Sure, the guy’s got an airship, but once the party commandeers his ride, Setzer has nothing to contribute. His special move, slots, fails frequently since it’s based on chance. Most of the time, you just get the stupid “lagomorph” move, where a tiny rabbit appears and taunts you by restoring a negligible amount of health. The upgraded version, coin toss, does reliable damage, but costs money every time you use it. If you bring Setzer along in your party, you should brace yourself for an ineffective and expensive companion. 

3. Krile (Final Fantasy V)

Before getting to Krile, let’s talk about Galuf. He’s an old curmudgeon, he rides a meteor across dimensions, and he commands respect from everyone who recognizes him. Unfortunately, Galuf leaves your party during Final Fantasy V and is replaced by Krile, which just adds insult to injury. She’s just your average “perky young girl” archetype with no interesting or awesome facets to her character. You can also blame her for establishing Final Fantasy’s particular breed of annoying companions like Yuffie, Selphie, and Vaan.

4. Hope (Final Fantasy XIII)

Ugh. Just look at this kid. Nice scarf, poindexter.

5. Kimahri (Final Fantasy X)

Kimahri looks awesome, so that’s not the problem. He also rarely speaks, so he isn’t annoying, either. So why is he on this list? The lamest part about Kimahri is how someone in the party is always better than him. He doesn’t have a specialized path on the sphere grid like other characters, meaning that he needs to travel down another character’s path. Unfortunately, no matter what path you choose, Kimahri lags significantly behind the primary character's progress. If you need someone to do something another character can already do, except worse, then Kimahri is your guy.

For more of my subjective musings about the Final Fantasy games, read my rankings for all 14 main games in the series.