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Would You Rather?

by Jeff Cork on Aug 02, 2011 at 08:54 AM

When we’re feeling introspective, we’ll lay on the grass at night and look up at the stars. In those moments, we’ll ask ourselves the important questions. Are we alone in the universe? Why are we here? Whose breath is worse—Bowser or Dracula? Or, to make the question less open ended, would you rather have Bowser blow into your face for three minutes straight or give Dracula CPR for five? Don’t be too quick to answer. Roll it around in your mind for a while. And when you’re done, check out our series of “Would you rather?” situations.

To get the conversation started, we’re posing a list of critically important scenarios. When given the choice between two theoretical scenarios, which one do you pick? When you've thought out your answers, hit up our comments section to explain your reasoning. We've created sections for each question to keep these important discussions focused. Otherwise, feel free to create your own game-related dilemmas.

#1: Eat a spoiled pot roast found in the walls of Dracula’s castle OR live in an inverted version of your home forever?


#2: Have Ethan Mars babysit your child for one week OR perform a quicktime event every time you drink a beverage?


#3: Have to play Rock Band on expert to listen to any song ever OR have Guitar Hero: Aerosmith be your life’s soundtrack?


#4: Kiss Nemesis on the mouth OR have a 24-hour staring contest with William Birkin’s shoulder-eye?


#5: Try to make it through one real life version of a Mega Man 2 level OR have your arm amputated without painkillers and replaced with a gun?


#6: Have Rick’s psycho mask plastered to your face forever OR grind through the entirety of Splatterhouse?


#7: Have your significant other look like Alex Kidd OR Seaman?


#8: Have an omnipresent minimap for life in the real world OR find money when you break random objects?


#9: Shave Blanka's entire body OR drink tea brewed from E Honda's diaper ?


#10: Watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy in a theater while Zeke talks the entire time OR go to a five-hour-long dinner with Dom Santiago and have to listen to him cry about his wife?


#11: Have a real-life Boo follow you around all day long, every moment you're awake OR have a tiny talking Meowth on your shoulder for the rest of your life?


#12: Experience the insanity effects from Eternal Darkness OR the hallucinations from Silent Hill 3?


#13: Give Wario OR a Cactuar an hour-long massage, while they enthusiastically express how much they enjoy it.


#14: Have Sonic run into your solar plexus at top speed OR have Dr. Robotnik sit on your face for 30 seconds.


#15: Have to listen to Zelda's low-health beep for an entire year OR wear Link's tunic for the remainder of your life?


#16: Have a regenerating beard made of tiny Fuzzies OR have a Chain Chomp locked onto your ankle?


Tim Turi contributed to this fiasco.