Important Life Lessons Learned From Video Games

by Tim Turi on Jul 29, 2011 at 05:50 AM

In the past, Game Informer has pondered some lingering questions about strange video game logic. Now it's time to think about what we know. Most gamers have been jamming on buttons since their early years, putting in time with Mario when they weren't watching Cookie Monster. Over the years, our favorite past time has imprinted a variety of odd lessons into our minds. This is a look at some of the most significant gems of wisdom that have been bestowed upon us during our digital journeys.

If you wear your wealth on your sleeve, it will probably be stolen.

The apocalypse is the perfect time to play carnival games.

Stoplights will crumble like sand when hit by your car, but colliding with a tree the diameter of a dime is similar to hitting a sheer mountain cliff.

Bird feathers can bring people back to life. Unless they can't.

Mass murder is fine as long as you’re one of the good guys.

If you’re shot, hide in an isolated place and ignore your wound. It’ll heal in seconds as long as there’s no incoming gunfire.

If you get into a physical altercation and your attacker has no orange on their person, disengage immediately. They have no weakness.

She's always a princess.

Lightning does strike twice, and it turns you into a little person.

Anything with a crack in it can and should be destroyed.

Collect as many of these as humanly possible.

If you drop your loot on the ground it disappears.

Attempting to enter every locked room in the world will lead to personal gain without consequence.

Children don’t turn into zombies.

Don’t store important resources like soldiers, weapons caches, and important supercomputers alongside your explosive barrels.

Most bosses go down in three hits. Remember that the next time you're having a tough day at work!

Killing Dracula is a waste of time.

You don't win an animal's affection through care and nurturing. You win it through violence.

You’ll learn how to double jump about half way through your life.

Royal guards are for show.