The Over-The-Top Activities Of Saints Row: The Third

by Dan Ryckert on Mar 21, 2011 at 07:59 AM

Wacky activities are a staple of the Saints Row franchise, with its most outlandish debuting in Saints Row 2. Septic Avenger missions had you dousing outdoor cafes and pool parties with a steady torrent of human waste, Trail Blazer tasked you with (literally) burning through college campuses on a flaming ATV while haphazardly throwing molotov cocktails, and Crowd Control saw crazed fans of celebrities get thrown into jet turbines. Some (Insurance Fraud, Trail Blazing) will be returning for Saints Row: The Third, while others (FUZZ, Septic Avenger, Fight Club) have been cut. Regardless of which favorites made the lineup, this new installment promises to pepper the new city of Steelport with crazier activities than ever. Here are a few examples of what to expect.

Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax

Volition had us sold on this one from their very first description - The Running Man meets the craziest Japanese game show you’ve ever seen. Like the awesome Schwarzenegger movie, this show pits several sociopaths against each other in a fight to the death. Weapon drops and fire traps ensure bloodshed, and the hyperactive Japanese announcers will be jabbering away throughout. Expect onscreen graphics like Japanese text and oddities similar to Mortal Kombat II’s “Toasty guy” as you murder the competition.

Tank Mayhem

The idea of an infinite-ammo, kill-everything-that-moves minigame in an open world crime game has been around since the birth of a genre. While Saints Row has featured similar Mayhem missions in past games, they’ve revolved around property damage. Because of this, rounds of this activity quickly devolved into sprinting around and hunting for fences to destroy. Saints Row: The Third wants to make things a bit more exciting, so Tank Mayhem places you in a tank instead of behind the sights of an assault rifle or RPG launcher. Various high-value targets will appear while you’re going all Goldeneye on the city, including a parade of strippers. Send a shell their way or get them tangled in your treads, and you’ll be raking in the cash and respect.

Guardian Angel

Your buddy Angel hates the Syndicate just as much as you do, and he wants to make sure you’re tough enough to take them on. In this activity, he forces you to drive a car around while a tiger sits in the backseat. Get into a fender bender or run into a stop sign, and he’ll start mauling you. It’s a definite test of your driving ability, but a co-op partner can sit in the backseat and try to tame the tiger if things get too tough.

Tying Guardian Angel into the war on the Syndicate is part of a more broad goal to make Saints Row: The Third a more cohesive experience. Activities in previous installments were often random and had no ties to the narrative. This time around, you’ll be rewarded with destroying Syndicate-owned property in activities like Tank Mayhem. Even the goofier ones like Insurance Fraud and Guardian Angel are billed as training exercises to toughen your character up so he’s ready to wage war on the crime ring. It doesn’t make the activities any less over-the-top or insane, but it does remind players what the overall goal of Saints Row: The Third is.