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Missed Review Headline Opportunities

The hardest part of writing an article is always coming up with a good headline. This is especially true for reviews, and while the GI crew tries its best to come up with some clever headlines, there's always room for improvement. Join me as I take a look back at some recent review headlines and make them a bit more awesome.

I'm no stranger to coming up with great titles. I provided Square Enix with plenty of options for the next Kingdom Hearts, and I also took it upon myself to name the next Disgaea for Nippon Ichi. Coming up with some amazing review headlines should be a cinch, so let's get started.

DuckTales: Remastered
Actual Headline: A Duck Blur Of Nostalgia And Fun
Awesome Headline: OoohOOOHoooh! It's Good!

I actually suggested this headline to Tim, but he decided to go with a subtler callback to the theme song, using the phrase "Duck Blur" instead. Banking on the player's nostalgia of the cartoon is definitely the right call, but what's more memorable than the chorus line? Besides, even if they don't remember it, the "It's Good!" at the end tells you all you need to know.

Gone Home
Actual Headline: A Home Can Hold More Than You Think
Awesome Headline: You Best Gone Home And Play This Game NOW

Kim's headline for Gone Home is a smart reference to the secrets and memories that you uncover while playing the game. The only problem? It's a little too smart. How am I supposed to know she's not talking about how many physical items you can literally shove in a house? My headline cuts out the ambiguity, telling you exactly what you should do – you don't even have to use your brain!

Halo: Spartan Assault
Actual Headline: Small Scale Halo
Awesome Headline: This Is Sparta!!!!n Assault

Kyle's headline does a pretty good job of conveying that Spartan Assault delivers all the enjoyment of normal Halo game in a smaller downloadable title. But is that really better than making a reference to an already overused line from the seven-year-old film 300? I'll let you be the judge...

The Last Of Us
Actual Headline: Naughty Dog's Grim Masterpiece
Awesome Headline: A Blast Of YES!!!

Matt's review headline for The Last of Us tells you that acclaimed developer Naughty Dog has another hit on its hands, one with a darker tone than its previous work. However, it doesn't kind-of rhyme with the title of the game. "A Blast of YES!!!" captures the visceral enjoyment you'll get from playing the game – and the words sound like the words in the title. Genius!

Beyond: Two Souls
Actual Headline: A Flawed Epic
Awesome Headline: Be-yawned: Too Bad

Matt chose another succinct headline for Beyond, this time capturing the sense of disappointment and failed potential of Quantic Dream's latest adventure. My headline aims to do the same – only it's punny. Be-yawned: Too Bad was actually a joint effort between Tim, Ben Hanson, and I, so Matt shouldn't feel too bad for not coming up with something quite as awesome all by himself.

Coming Up Next: Tons and tons of puns...

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