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In the first volume of Horror Movie Lessons, we learned a
variety of life-saving tips, such as avoiding shady reality television show
offers, not believing anything the Grand Inquisitor tells you, and that double-crossing
Rutger Hauer is never a good idea. This time around we bring you 15 more
invaluable lessons culled from the crappiest finest horror movies
Netflix Instant View has to offer.
This concludes the second volume of Horror Movie Lessons.
Feel free to share any tips you have learned from this educational film genre
in the comments section below.
Email the author Jeff Marchiafava, or follow on Google+, Twitter, and Game Informer.
i'll take these to heart
Lol Friday the 13th lessons should be so obvious
jeff, i think you should know i had to learn all these lessons the hard way. all of them.
i remember several years ago back when i was in the army i had myself a Friday the 13th marathon and watched all of parts 1-8. i only recall parts of them and can't even remember parts 3 or 5. i do remember a guy getting punched by Jason and his head flying off. that amused me to no end.
Personally, I hate rowing boats and wouldn't last 5 min. with Jason.
Rofl that is complete awesomeness there! Good job with the Friday the 13th ones especially!
Little Shop of Horrors:
Don't feed him. No matter how much he asks. Because he's a giant, man-eating plant.
Friday the 13th... wow. I haven't watched that in years. The 30 seconds with bunnies version is funnier though :)
Haha, The Core was priceless XD
Chupracabra Terror that's all I have to say
That Friday the 13th paragraph was masterful prose. The more you read the name Jason Voorhees in print the funnier it gets.
Dead Space downfall, okay it is from a video game series but here goes. If You find yourself on a space colony and you hear they unearthed a misterious alien artifact that belonged to a religion lore, get on a spaceship and do not come back, Ever.
And you forgot "The Human Centipede!"
That's great. You make Jason Voorhees sound like Chuck Norris! lol "Do not blah blah blah Jason Voorhees." "Jason Voorhees will blah blah blah kill you." "You cannot outrun Jason Voorhees." "Jason Voorhees never dies." "Chuck Norris wears Jason Voorhees pajamas." Yeah, I said it! (And now, Chuck Norris will probably hunt me down and kill me for making such a ridiculous claim.)