The lights are on
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In addition to playing a lot of video games, I also enjoy
watching a bad horror movie from time to time. Thanks to Netflix's Watch
Instantly feature, horror movie fans have no shortage of crappy films to test
their patience. A lot of them end up being Troma-quality trash that insult the
viewer with their laughable production values, but every now and then I come
across a movie that's entertaining enough to watch to the end credits. Not only
do they offer a fair amount of entertainment, but they supply important lessons
for surviving perilous situations.
Want to live to a ripe old age? Read on for some invaluable
tips that could one day save you from certain doom. Want to avoid spoilers for
a handful of B-movies instead? Then you should probably stop reading now.
This concludes the first volume of Horror Movie Lessons. Feel free to share any tips you have learned from this educational film genre in the comments section below.
Email the author Jeff Marchiafava, or follow on Google+, Twitter, and Game Informer.
What did the GI staff give you to watch these?
ahhh, netflix B-movies... so many hours wasted.
Anyhoo, my survival tip would be:
It doesn't matter who they were before they became a zombie, if you run up to them and give them a hug, they will bite you. Why does this sort of thing still happen?
Don't go off into the woods alone to do number 1.
Nice blog thanks for that.
"Years later, when you attend a college party at a vacation home in the middle of nowhere, guess what you and your drunken friends should NOT do for entertainment? "
Laughed hard :D Lmao can't wait for the next one~
all horror movies feature stupid protagonists. thats why its so fun to watch them get dismembered. or eaten, or slashed, or tortured, or turned inside out, or zombified, or possessed or... you get the idea.
Good stuff... almost as good as a book on how to survive a zombie apocalypse.
Ha ha ha! Good stuff, man. I learned to never judge a horror movie by it's setting, like in Jaws.
I want to watch some of these now...
Guess I'm gonna rent some movies.
Simply put just avoid going into any house when a murderer is on the loose. Just stay on the streets so you can run away easy as that
The biggest step of ALL is don't have sex in the woods!!
Sometime you should watch Dagon. I watched it on SyFy last weekend...absolutely hilarious.
One kinda bad horror movie that is awesome is Dead Snow. It's not really bad at all though, just not very scary lol.
ANYWAYS... I started watching a remake of the night of the living dead, and, no joke, they had this guy ride up on his motorcycle with his arm out and punch a zombie away.
He just held his arm out and it hit it and flew back like he punched it.
The sad part is that was the most entertaining part of the movie. lol
Golden Rule: Don't split up.