It truly is a magical day. Now that you're done with all that stocking/unwrapping/passive-aggressive family stuff, it's time for the good stuff. You know, gaming haiku. Sheesh!

I've reduced the past 10 games that I've played to their essence, pressed that refined material through my brain (gently!), and then transcribed the results for all to see.  

If you'd like to read more of my amazing poems, I know where you can get even more of 'em. 

Some Bionicle/Hero Factory Whatever Flash Game My Kid Made Me Play
A stuttering mess.
The worst camera ever.
A child saying “sucks.”

Puzzle & Dragons
Match-three Pokemon
Look! A pay wall approaches.
Be back tomorrow.

Pinball Arcade
Classic pin tables,
classically bad interface
fumbling it up.

Far Cry 3
Fire, tigers, bandits.
It's like side mission, the game.
Critical path? Nope.

The Room
What's in this darn box?
A mystery worth solving.
Curiosity?

Happy Town
What's the allure here?
Check on it like a baby.
Animal Cursing.

The Unfinished Swan
Painting the town black.
An art game that's still a game.
Hold still, you damned swan.

Lego the Lord of the Rings
Sauron and his mouth
annihilating the Shire:
worth the admission.

Dishonored
Corvo's clockwork mask
is the last thing the guards see.
Nonlethal run? Ha!

Pinball FX 2
Civil War table!
Zen Studios' new idea:
Insert coin, hear speech.