(First of all, forgive me for this page layout. I have no clue how to change it, and don't really care about changing it.)

I'm impressed, folks. I'm impressed with YOU.  MvM was released way back in August, and unfortunately, ya'll are still playing like you were in August. No doubt there is a percentage of you people like me who have gone out and completed each tour of duty, but the vast majority of you who were playing Wave 666 and the Operation Oil Spill need to be taught a lesson. And I plan to teach it! I'm going to be giving you instructions on each class, starting with class numero uno.

The Scout

While not the big heavy hitter in MvM against the robots, it is essential that your team has one of these guys.With the speed that these guys have, coupled with his large money collecting radius, the scout is the best money gathering class out there. Using the scout's speed and low priority rating, anybody who can jump, run, and shoot can get behind those pesky medics and kill them with a couple good shots. Some things to remember while playing scout:

  1. NEVER upgrade your shotgun during the first 4 waves. You're a lover(money collector) not a killer.
  2. ALWAYS begin the first round by upgrading your speed twice.
  3. Don't buy resistances until you have run speed and jump height upgraded. And yes, I said jump height, which is something that actually works well for the scout.
  4. Don't pussyfoot around when you see a couple giants or dozens of smaller robots a whole lot of money. Run along the side, jump into the group, and keep moving around and jumping inside of the group for as long as you can.
  5. Contrary to popular belief, but Mad Milk is the best secondary weapon you can have and upgrade. With upgrades that let you reduce the cool down and give your Non-Milk substance a slowing effect, you have the best crowd control healing weapon in the game. 
  6. Don't use Bonk! Atomic Punch. While it may seem cool that you can just run around invincible to collect money may be  great thing, it isn't. While under the influence of Bonk you cannot switch weapons or attack, which is something you might need in a game about killing people(robots).
  7. The best thing you can do for your team is collecting money. Never, EVAR go out there with the purpose of killing people. You need to survive!
  8. Ignore number 7 if: You see snipers hanging out by the ledges, there are medics following giants, or there is no money on the ground.
  9. And here's the most important; MONEY ******* HEALS YOU, GOD******! There is a reason why good scouts don't die, and half of it is because the money will heal you and give you an incredibly high over heal.

Now that you know these 9 basic tips for scout, let me tell you something; First, I don't really understand whether I should have put a colon there, and second, please move. That may not sound like much, but you'd be amazed at the people you just run headlong into a group of soldiers/pyros/demos/heavys and so on, but trust me, they exist. Even if you haven't upgraded your jump yet, use it! This little tip will save your life, get you the money, lead your team to eventual MvM victory, and might even score you a date (if for some strange reason you're playing with a person of the opposite gender who is into people that play as scrawny white boys online). 

This might be short, it might be long, I don't really know. I also probably missed a lot of useful stuff you guys might want to know. But you know what, too bad. It's 9:34 in the morning, and I want to do something else. Maybe even eat breakfast.