Dodging Mass Effect 3 Spoilers At Game Informer

Like many of you fine folks, I do everything I humanly can to keep up with all the awesome games continually vying for our attention. Most gamers find no trouble carving out hours upon hours of time to play awesome triple-A releases like Mass Effect 3. Heck, not more than a day passed before the first Mass Effect fans began crying out about the ending of the game. So what are gamers who’ve had a busy couple weeks supposed to do while the masses of gamers organize petitions and raise money in an effort to get Bioware to change the ending? We try to finish the damned thing as quickly as possible without getting anything spoiled. But that can be much easier said than done, especially when you’re me.

Note: This blog post contains no spoilers.

My job at Game Informer requires me to remain plugged in to social networks and keep an eye on the gaming news landscape. With a controversial game like Mass Effect 3 out in the wild, browsing /gaming on Reddit or reading a Tweet becomes a gamble. I’m left wondering how long it’s going to be until the first nugget of game-spoiling information is going to sully the suspense of my adventures as Commander Shepard.

As if this isn’t bad enough, every day someone new arrives at the Game Informer office wearing a big, shiny “I beat Mass Effect 3 last night” badge. I’ve already had to plug my ears and run out of the room screaming “ah la la la la!” like a dozen times, lest I find out Shepard ends up fighting Darth Revan on the back of a space dragon or something. Seriously, in my nearly three years at GI it’s never been this bad.

Now, I’ll admit that I’ve slipped up in this department, having accidentally spoiled the ending of Red Dead Redemption for Joe Juba. But I’ve learned an important lesson since then: don’t spoil crap. One should be hyper-sensitive when discussing a game plot around folks who may not have finished it yet. I don’t care if ME 3’s ending is such a hot topic right now, it’s been out less than a month. It’s not open season yet.

Instead, I’ve found the tables turning on me. I’ve become the target of some hostility in the office because I haven’t been able to pass the finish line yet. I don't want to name names, but I will: Jeff Cork. Yes, I wish I could spend more time seducing Miranda (I know, I should have stuck with Liara) and blasting away at Cerberus, but my playthrough was handicapped from the start having been at GDC the week of the game’s release.

Excuses, excuses, I know. But for the first time ever in my life, I’m being looked at as a villain for cutting spoilery conversations short. What is the world coming to? One day folks will be putting the kibosh on revealing conversations, then after finishing it the very same night will come into work the next day and roll their eyes at me when I try to do the same thing. Hypocrisy is running rampant here.

Anyway, I’m on course to finally finish the game this weekend. Under normal circumstances I’d say I’m most excited to see where this amazing series ends up, but all the hullabaloo surrounding the game’s finale has been hyped to a fever pitch, and I’m doubting it can live up to my expectations. I’m can’t wait to stop dodging spoilers.

In hindsight, I clearly should have just faked my death and finished up the game right away.

Phew, anyway, that was the most rant-tastic post I’ve ever fired up here, so congratulations to me, and to you for having read it.