How To Play Far Cry 4 Without Firing A Shot

I rarely play video games while my daughter is awake. Most of the games I want to play contain content not suited to her age, but I also want video games to be something she and I enjoy together, not just some dumb old thing daddy does while she plays with her own toys. She’s not quite ready to play video games, so I wait until she is sleeping to partake in my favorite hobby, biding my time until she fully understands the function of the control stick before I make a concerted attempt for us to play together.

Earlier this week, however, she was being particularly calm, quiet, and distracted as she arranged her collection of My Little Ponies in a row assigning them assorted voices and occupations, so I decided I would try an experiment. I wanted to see if I could play Far Cry 4 without encountering any questionable or inappropriate content. To spoil the ending a bit, I will tell you that I was successful, but at the expense of making very little progress.

I had already played through the game’s opening so my daughter did not have to meet the charismatic Pagan Min, and I had played through the initial training mission meaning the stealth assassinations and tiger mauling would not be on screen either. I was at an early point in the game, but far enough in where the open world was available, and I had used a few experience points to grab some upgrades, like the ability to ride an elephant.

My first task was to get rid of the gun on screen and the only non-gun I had with me was the repair tool blowtorch. I traveled around on foot collecting treasure chests with my blowtorch in front of me avoiding any and all confrontation. If I saw soldiers in the distance I would go around them, or sprint in the opposite direction if they saw me and started firing bullets. It led to a few cliffside tumbles as I scrambled to get away, but my daughter thought it was hilarious whenever I fell down, so it was fine – even encouraged.

The only confrontations I couldn’t avoid were the wild packs of dholes. As I was opening treasure chests by one camp, a group of them confronted me, which wasn’t fair because I was not bothering them as I walked around with my blowtorch outstretched in front of me. They attacked and my screen glowed red, so I scrambled up on top of a roof and looked down on them. My daughter remarked that the dogs seemed mad, and I agreed with her. After they calmed down a bit, I picked a direction, leapt off the roof, and sprinted away. I didn’t get to all the chests in that location, but I figured the dholes could keep whatever treasure was in there if they wanted it so badly.

The next opportunity that seemed safe was my first supply run. In Far Cry 3, these missions were basically point to point races, and my assumption that they were basically the same in Far Cry 4 was accurate. I grabbed some bags, avoided animals and soldiers while showing off my blowtorch, and enjoyed the scenery as I sped location to location. The mission was fairly uneventful, save for a few accidental cliffside tumbles, which were hilarious according to my daughter.

As I continued to casually walk around Kyrat like a confused tourist with a blowtorch, I came across my first outpost. As I mentioned, I was pretty early in the game. I pulled out my camera to take a look without any intention to attack, but there was an elephant in the fort, which immediately excited my daughter. It became my goal to liberate the elephant without violence, so we could find a nearby lake and spend the rest of our lives together, spraying water in the air and giggling uncontrollably. Or at least, that’s what I imagined our future would be like.

I snuck into the elephant’s cage, blowtorch at the ready, jumped onto the elephant’s back, and immediately threw out my initial stealth ambitions out the window. We bolted out of the fort full speed as soldiers fired their guns and shouted in, I assume, frustration. I felt pretty good about my escape, until a warning appeared on screen telling me I was leaving the mission area. It was the first outpost, so it was a legitimate mission as opposed to a side quest. Thankfully, there was a small pond nearby we could hang out in, so I decided to set up shop there as the sounds of “fireworks” boomed nearby.

I walked the elephant into the pond, dismounted, and said, “Hey look, the elephant is swimming!” which my daughter found far less amusing than the times I fell down Kyrat’s assorted hills. I watched the elephant paddle away from me, and came to the disappointing realization that the elephant did not want to hang out with me. An elephant never forgets, and this one had a score settle as it immediately made its way back to the outpost.

I turned around facing the opposite direction of the elephant’s goal as I studied my blowtorch to make sure it was still working (it was) and wondered if there was a casual whistle button for standing nonchalant in knee-high water. Behind me I could hear the sounds of an angry elephant laying waste to the facility that had imprisoned him. A few moments later, a prompt appeared on-screen: Outpost Liberated.

At that point, I declared my experiment a total success and turned off my PlayStation 4. I encountered and escaped some angry dholes, toured Kyrat on a four-wheeler, met and had an adventure with an elephant, and showed everyone my blowtorch, and nobody got hurt – except for me when I fell down those cliffs, which was hilarious according to my daughter. I look forward to playing more of the incident-free jungle walking elephant-riding simulator with her soon.