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I was originally discovered lying next to a meteor by poachers in Africa. Fearing my raw power, they attemped to destroy me. I managed to kill them only after two gunshot wounds, an arrow in the chest, and three black eyes. After performing open heart surgery on myself, I stumbled into the nearest village, and slept for 9 days. From there, I was transported to a British medical facility, where I was found to be 116th element on the periodic table. I managed to escape that facility and put myself up for adoption in America, where I was found by a nice family who turned out to be KGB agents. I have been living under false identities ever since and live in constant danger, which is also my middle name. My inventions include sliced bread, the lobsterpi, and George Foreman. I currently own three houses in northern Alberta, Canada, which I keep stocked with AK-47s, SPAM, and Double Bubble Gum Sour Green Apple flavored. I am an honorary tribe member of every aborigine tribe in Australia. I also enjoy watching the sunset, fighting bears, and long walks on the beach.