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Top Ten Things In RPGs That Are Totally Bogus

I love Role-Playing Games. They can have wonderful stories, as well as engrossing combat systems, which just create this great experience not seen in some other genres. However, they all can have elements that are ones that, even if those fantasy universes existed...probably wouldn't really be there. So yes, this isn't about wooden airships or time-travel (because time-travel is legit), but about the conventions from the games themselves. 

Can you see it?

This is really meant to be humorous, but they really are things that would not happen. Well, some COULD happen, but games hardly ever give explanations for these things. I've recently been playing Mario & Luigi: Dream Team (very, very great title), and several of these conventions are in the game, and I'd already thought of this idea before...so, well, this was born. Let's just dive in, shall we?

10. Weapon Techniques Costing Magic Power

When Crono uses the move "Slash", why does it use up MP? When these characters who are using physical attacks, with no real magic involved, why am I using up points that are used for magic attacks? It's confusing, when you think about it, and really makes no sense. From a developer standpoint, it does, of course, make sense to limit how powerful of a move the player can use at times, but from a logic standpoint-ha, no, this wouldn't really happen. 

9. Bosses You "Beat"

"Alright, I beat the boss! I got his HP down to zero, yes!" *Transition out of battle* "Hey, why is he still up? Why did he just shrug it off? I gave him three times what he gave me, come on!"

Yeah, this may seem familiar to some of you. It just happened to be a few hours ago while playing Dream Team-I beat a boss, and then, wait-he knocks out my party, and things seem grim. If I pummeled the living daylights out of him, shouldn't I being the one knocking him out? Sure, sometimes the bad guy gets some surge of power, but usually, it's just dumb. :P

8. Areas with Level Differences

So, when you start off a Pokémon game, the Pokémon you encounter in the tall grass just outside the gates of town are about level 5, or so. Progressively, the Pokémon get tougher, and tougher, and tougher. Hold on-what discernible reason is there for these Pokémon to be leveled like this? In almost any other RPG, the rest stays true, with the starting area having enemies that aren't very powerful. Of course, this again is something necessary for the player to be able to progress, but it's weird logic wise. Maybe, for Pokémon at least, the Elite Four made sure that the little town in the corner of the map had the weakest Pokémon...eh, I don't know.

7. Enemies Allowing Tutorials

Another one inspired directly from Dream Team-this one is probably the least likely one to appear in an RPG, but it's still completely bogus. Whenever Mario and Luigi are learning something new from Dreambert, Starlow, or someone else, they'll usually wait for an enemy to attack in some way, before yelling "STOP", which, well, stops the enemy. Not everyone who does this has almighty powers, so it must be the enemy being courteous and letting its opponents learn moves to defeat it. Yeah, like that would happen.

6. Party Members Being Limited

So, uh, what about those other 4 members in your party? Well, they can't fit on the battlefield! Oh no! Yeah, this one is self explanatory, as well as another that "well, we can't have this for the player-it'd be too easy!". If you could battle with all of your party at once, especially in a game like Final Fantasy VI...well...that would end up being really easy.

5. Carrying Hundreds of Items

"Hey, I just got a Fat Man! Sweet! Now...where is my guy carrying it? Hello, it's huge! And all those stimpacks-do they just magically appear when I select them on my PipBoy? Well, I guess so, since that also happens when, in other RPGs, I access something called the "Inventory" that just has this list, and when I select something on it, I use it! Wow, I'm really glad I can carry all of this stuff without lugging it over my shoulder!"

4. HP/Magic Points

"Yeah, all those times I was shot, burned, stabbed, and shocked don't matter, I've got that one little health point left!"

Besides just health being measured on a scale, measuring magic power just is, well, absurd. How is the character supposed to not be able to perform a move that they've learned? They need mana or something? Well, how are they then supposed to know when to take the stuff? And speaking of that-why can't a Pokémon use one move an infinite amount of times? What's with PP? Why can't they do some move they learned?

3. Learning New Moves

On most occasions, a character leveling up in an RPG makes them learn a new move-hold the phone, what? Were they imbued with some mystic knowledge because their stats just went up? Who taught them the move? No one did, it just happened when they leveled up. In other RPGs, sometimes the characters also get to learn new moves simply from leveling up, instead of getting them from some person or something. Ha, no, that doesn't really happen.

2. Leveling Up

Can I level up in real life? Well, no, I can't really, unless you count a birthday being one, which really isn't that. I don't suddenly become stronger when I complete chores, or when I complete some other significant task. I don't get experience points from anything in my life, and no one is ranked by what level they've attained. Leveling up is completely messed up, and there's no way it's happening.

1. Taking Turns

If you didn't see this coming from this list, I don't know what you were expecting. In all these great, glorious games, from Final Fantasy to Fire Emblem, we see turn-based combat. Wait, why in the world are they taking turns? This isn't Yu-Gi-Oh, it's just people fighting. Why can't I just spam using the normal attack, why is everyone being so nice and letting each other attack, and not even attempting to defend themselves during the other enemy's turn? Why are you waiting guys, why? Have some intelligence! Attack the enemy while they're just standing there! That would totally not happen if I was in a battle, I wouldn't hesitate and let the enemy decide what to do. 

Well, that's it-again, I hope no one took this as saying these things shouldn't be in games, I just meant for this to be a blog that was "well, this wouldn't really happen, even if this was in a fantasy setting". I'm on vacation right now, so this is likely the only thing I'll put out this week-I'll see you guys later.

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