The lights are on
This is an abomination. Avoid like the plague. All the fun of an intense migraine, which is exactly what I am suffering after several hours getting nowhere. Launches "trial and error" gameplay into the stratosphere like never before. Planning, preparation, strategy, tactics, and skill do *not* apply. Controls are gimped. Game constantly blindsides you and even out right cheats. Absolutely **ZERO** enjoyment factor to be had. Slow, plodding, lots of waiting around in dark corners for nothing to happen, only to go out on a limb and get screwed by something you never saw coming. It amazes me the limitless number of ways in which this shite seems programmed to screw players over and disrupt every best laid plan. Resorting to "*** all let's see if it works" is your only option. The chances of whatever working are exceedingly thin. You stand a better chance of breaking Vegas or Monte Carlo. Story is secondary and trite. Dull. Boring. Asinine. Characters are obnoxious. Dialog is bland. Graphics are sub-par and mostly black. Even the bloody text is too small and can't be read from more than three feet away. Cookie-cutter environments look like one trashy gutter after the next. No aesthetic or art direction. Level design is poor and confusing, uninspired and *far* too limiting. Animations are choppy and spastic. Virtual camera is a wreck. At least you can pan it 360 without leaving cover like other games. Sound effects are obnoxious and sound ques are imprecise and misleading. Music is repetitive and obstructive. It's like this abomination dragged itself out of the dark ages of gaming on the NES. Easily compared to something the AVGN would make a web video about (Dragon's Lair/Dark Castle etc). I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy. For as good a time, roll eight 20 sided dice. When they all land on 7, you win. As painful to play as banging ones head against an uninsulated steam pipe. Zero thought or consideration went into production. This thing is a mess. I am officially instating my "NO Ubisoft" policy and canceling my preorder of AssCreedIV out of sheer fear of suffering more $60 torture. Sloppy, trashy, broken, garbage. An excruciatingly bad time.