The lights are on
It's been awhile since we last burdened the fragile psyches of you fine readers with snippets of the Game Informer staff's insipid conversations. This post might as well be called the Ben Reeves Criterion Collection, because it's stuffed with more Reeves-isms than you can accommodate while still staying within strictly defined medical guidelines. Are you ready to hear what we have to say about dairy-based testing phases, dating, and Freddy Krueger? Probably not.
“Why is beer not mouth?" [Ben Reeves on a Friday]“Mario looks weird with his pants on now” [Jeff Marchifava]
“Anybody wanna have a screw party?” [Ben Reeves, screwdriver in hand as he opens a package]“F*** rollerblades….” [Adam]“Cornbread would be a good nickname for somebody.” [Ben Reeves]“How much cornbread you going to eat with that chili, Cornbread?” [Tim]“Do you wanna beta test this yogurt?” [Ben Reeves tempting a coworker with Annette's leftover food]“I like having a gun in my hand, even if it’s not real. They’re fun.” [Ben Reeves]“I care about that thing more than my own…” [Ben Hanson on the child at the end of Shadow of the Colossus“He’s my favorite kiddy-diddler.” [Jeff C sarcastically points out how strange Freddy Krueger's stardom is]“My fingers still smell like bacon. Awesome.” [Adam]
"Please tie two tons to your p**** and drop it off the building." [Jeff M speaking with Ben Hanson]“Don’t ask me to eat s*** and tell me its burritos.” [Andy]“I murdered my dog last night.” [Joe reflects on his time with Skyrim]“Talking to Ben Reeves is like talking to a Chat Bot.” [Jeff C]“I think when a**hole comes out, it turns out bad for everybody.” [Miller makes a point about Tim's colorful vocabulary]
"It's not a good prank, it just makes my shoulder smell like coffee." [Jeff M explaining to Ben Hanson how pranks work]"I’ve always wanted to be stung by a skunk." [Ben Reeves]
"Invention is the first form of flattery" [Ben Reeves]
Ben Reeves on dating:
"Offer to smell things for her, like her dinner."
"Be sure to open doors for her, like the bathroom stall."
Email the author Tim Turi, or follow on Twitter, and Game Informer.