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Everquest II: The Ballad of Sherlocksley the Blue

Come, dear readers, and you shall hear a story both strange and true: the tale of Sherlocksley the Blue.

It began one day when the air was gray and the lad named Jack had no money to pay.

He had heard of aland both free and fair, the land of Everquest II.

To his computer he ran and with his black mouse in hand he clicked and the download began.

It took three days and three nights (or two minutes, more like) and there sat that online pyrite.

The installation complete, Jack could not compete, the real world’s brute call pulled him forth.

Many days went by as Jack sought together to tie the words that would earn him his diploma and cap.

Then the cold sun shone down on Jack’s time to clown, he knew the moment had come.

Calling up some old friends, he hoped playing would cleanse some hang outs quite boring and drab.

However, on booting, the game was less than soothing, quite ugly, flat, and dull.

In fact, upon the relation of graphic creation, Jack’s friends all bailed and jeered,

“We go to play, the dark side way and become Sith lords among men.”

Jack, quite befuddled, bemused, and still muddled, went on and made a hero, amphibious.

His name was Sherlocksley, his skin a blue hue.

He could fall like a feather, lie in the heather, and breathe underwater to boot.

He wielded an axe, but to use it quite taxed, and took much longer than sending a fax.

The plain simple truth: he could not sleuth out an enjoyable, meaningful quest.

He wandered here. He wandered there. He wound up fighting a mother bear.

Knocked unconscious, left by the conches, he awoke to a new level of power.

Sherlocksley went mad and fought a tad against orcs and codfish and shrooms.

Not enough to be whole, he decidedly stole to the depths of the frozen sea.

He swam deeper and deeper, like some subtle creeper into the icy, blue deep.

To his great amazement, he hit an embankment and could not see the sea floor.

He tried to swim upward again, but he found himself under a continent.

Quite unimpressed, Jack shortly egressed leaving Sherlocksley alone.

He sits there still, breathing through gills burning with a fever mad.

But no good to you playing through the foul and free Everquest II.

Here ends the tale of Sherlocksley the Blue, just pray it does not happen to you.

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