The lights are on
Nintendo has revealed the new Mega evolution forms featured in Pokémon
X and Y. Are these new forms really mega or just meh? Game Informer's resident Pokémon
analyst offers his expert insight.
Pokémon Blue was the first and last installment I've played
in Nintendo's slave monster fighting sim, but that hasn't stopped me from
analyses of Pokémon's
vast roster. Today, I'll be examining Pokémon X and Y's mega evolutions,
and based on my first look at these new forms, they're not all they're cracked
up to be.
For each entry, I'll be critiquing first the original form
of the Pokémon, followed by its mega form. Let's start with a classic.
MewtwoLike Pikachu and Meowth, Mewtwo is one of the series' prima donna
Pokémon who goes around thinking he's better than all of the other normal Pokémon
– mainly because he is. Mewtwo was even the star of the first Pokémon movie,
which was creatively titled Pokémon: The
First Movie – how did Pikachu miss out on top billing? I really hope he
fired his agent.
Unlike normal Pokémon, Mewtwo was created by scientists to
be the strongest Pokémon of all-time, and thus doesn't evolve. However, after a
billion sequels you've got to do something to keep fans interested, which is
where I'm guessing the idea for Mega Mewtwo came from.
As far as Pokémon go, Mewtwo does look pretty cool; he's all
streamlined and alien-like, and looks like he can handle himself in a fight. He
also appears to have some kind of Vader-esque force choke ability – don't stare
at him too long or you might die.Official Pokémon Rating
(as decided by me): 8
Mega MewtwoI had to look at Mewtwo's pictures about ten times just to
make sure I didn't switch up the order, but this is apparently the mega version
of Mewtwo. I don't get it – according to his stats, "Mega" Mewtwo weighs less
than half of the original Mewtwo, and shrunk almost two feet. In fact, I think Nintendo
got the words "mega" and "puny" confused. I'm starting to think this whole "Mega"
evolution mechanic is just an excuse to not come up with any more name puns.
Here Nintendo, let me help: Mewthree. Or Mewsquared. Now who do I see about my consulting
Size difference aside, Mega Mewtwo looks pretty similar save
for one shocking change: Somehow his tail shifted from his butt up to the back of
his head. I don't even want to know how that works – I just hope it's the only part of his anatomy that made the move. Mega Mewtwo's bio also says
that his new ability is insomnia – I guess that explains the red eye. If I had
a tail growing out of the back of my head I'd have a hard time falling asleep
too.Official Pokémon Rating:
AmpharosAmpharos is an electric-type Pokémon, and weighs in at an
impressive 135 lbs. despite only being 4'7".
However, no one is going to take Ampharos seriously with that goofy red ball on
the end of his tail. I assume he can shoot lightning out of it, but even then
Ampharos still looks like a doofus. I'm guessing Ampharos actually has a sharp
tail, but he kept on accidentally poking himself so his trainer stuck a bouncy
ball of the end of it. His little flippers aren't helping his cool factor; is
he supposed to fly with those things, or are they like penguin flippers?Official Pokémon Rating:
Looks Like A Bowling Pin
Mega AmpharosYeah, this "Mega" evolution gimmick is definitely a sham.
That's not evolution – it's a different hairstyle!
Still, Mega Ampharos does look better than his normal
version. For one thing, his dumb tail has been replaced with a cloud-like one
that looks like it was made for shooting lightning bolts. Also, check out his awesome
mullet! The way it blows in the breeze reminds me of an '80s action hero.
Kind of like Kurt Russell, only with flippers.Official Pokémon Rating: Business In The Front, Party In The Back
AbsolThis is by far the best Pokémon I've seen in a long time.
Absol has a cool yin-and-yang thing going on with her hair, a spiky tail, and
claws like a griffin. Her sleek and simple coloring also makes her seem elegant
– she's the iPhone of Pokémon. If that's not enough, Absol is classified as a
Disaster Pokémon, and one of her abilities is Super Luck. I can't wait to see
her Mega form (cue disappointment...)Official Pokémon Rating:
Mega AbsolI am officially starting a petition to make Nintendo change
the term "Mega Evolution Pokémon" to "Different Hairstyle Pokémon." Mega Absol
is legitimately cooler than normal Absol, though. Her yin-and-yang hairdo is
even more obvious thanks to a Beatles-esque mop-top makeover, and her mane has
sprouted wings. My only complaint is that her Super Luck ability has been
replaced with less-impressive sounding Magic Bounce. On the other hand, Mega
Absol sounds like the name of a fictional street drug in some post-apocalyptic
sci-fi movie, so I guess that evens things out.Official Pokémon Rating:
Not Worthy Of Another Absol Pun, But Still Pretty Cool
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