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Stupid Video Game Titles: The Honorable Mentions

In issue 217 of Game Informer, we ran a list of the Top Ten stupid video game titles. While those ten game names were certainly the cream of the crap, we had no shortage of runners-up. Enjoy this list of laughably bad game titles that didn't quite make the cut, but are still unforgivably dumb.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat
Plenty of video games have superfluous acronyms, but this one takes the cake. S.T.A.L.K.E.R. stands for "Scavenger, Trespasser, Adventurer, Loner, Killer, Explorer, Robber," a list of people you might find wandering around in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Previous titles in the series at least had decent subtitles, but Call of Pripyat just adds to the confusion, unless studying Ukrainian ghost towns is your hobby.
Other Offensively Dumb Acronyms: C.O.P. The Recruit, M.U.S.C.L.E.

Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X. 2
Speaking of stupid acronyms: Tom Clancy's arcade-y dogfighter returns with H.A.W.X. 2. You would need a pretty awesome acronym to justify spelling 'hawks' with an 'x'. What did the geniuses behind the franchise come up with? "High Altitude Warfare Xperimental squadron." What is that?! Not only did they misspell "experimental," they completely left off "squadron." That's not how acronyms work, people. How could Tom Clancy put his name on such a stupid...never mind.
Other Xtremely Lame Titles: X-Kaliber 2097, XGRA: Extreme-G Racing Association

Xenosaga Episode II: Jenseits von Gut und Böse
Dear developers: You employ translators for a reason. "Jenseits von Gut und Böse" is the German title of Friedrich Nietzsche's most famous philosophical work. We know it in America as "Beyond Good and Evil," because, as it turns out, some words in the English language have the same meanings as German words and can replace them when it's convenient - like when you're trying to discuss your favorite JRPG without sounding like a snobby jerk.

Stoked
Here's a free tip: Don't use dead skater lingo in your title, unless your game is coming out in 1989 and stars Bill and Ted. Who would've thought that a developer named "Bongfish" would be responsible for such a mediocre game?

Ivy the Kiwi?
There's no questioning the pedigree of famed designer Yuji Naka, but when the former head of Sonic Team created his own studio in 2006, he threw sane naming conventions out the window. The developer's first two games were called Let's Catch and Let's Tap, followed by the enigmatic Ivy The Kiwi? For some reason the title ends in a question mark, as if one of his employees literally transcribed Yuji Naka's second title suggestion - we're assuming his first proposal was Let's Ivy The Kiwi.
More Just-Name-It-Whatever Games: Hatris, Beyond The Beyond, Divine Divinity

Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II - Retribution
Apparently having 40,000 in your title isn't cumbersome enough for the Warhammer series anymore. This standalone RTS expansion packs a hyphen, a colon, and both Arabic and Roman numeral systems, all to punctuate cliché video game buzzwords. It's the dawn of war, and someone is looking for retribution? How utterly exciting.

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