The lights are on
No matter how trivial a piece of information for an upcoming
game is, there's always a gamer out there who will complain that it's a
spoiler. It's annoying, and while we could try resolve the problem by devising
a list of criteria that defines what a legitimate spoiler is, we figured it
would be more worthwhile to mock these crybabies with a list of humorously
obvious spoilers instead. Warning: Don't read this if you are stupid.
ReachSpoiler: Halo: Reach will end with the fall of the planet Reach.We begin this feature with the biggest spoiler of them all -
the ending to Bungie's last Halo game. Halo: Reach is going to end with the
planet Reach being destroyed by the alien Covenant. It's as big of a shocker as
Snape killing Dumbledore, and we're just getting started. We have it on good
authority that Master Chief will escape the destruction of Reach. Pretty juicy
Mass Effect 3Spoiler: The third installment of
BioWare's sci-fi RPG will have aliens in it.Mass Effect 2's final sequence depends largely on the choices
you made while playing the game, so it would be hard to spoil all of the ending
permutations that are possible. Instead, we'll blow an even bigger fact about Mass
Effect 3: it's got aliens. Big aliens with little beady eyes; little aliens
with big oval-shaped eyes; at least one humanoid species that you can have sex
with - the sequel is going to have so many aliens that you'd think it was set
in space or something.
Email the author Jeff Marchiafava, or follow on Google+, Twitter, and Game Informer.