Super Smash Bros. Character Interview #6




Sup worldwide webbers! Welcome to the sixth entry of my Smash Bros. Character Interview series. If you wanna read the previous entries, click my blog button above. Those of you who have read the previous ones should know the deal, so I won’t bore you with any details. Just prepare for a wet story! Because Greninja is a water type Pokémon. What kind of wet story were you thinking about?


WARNING: If you feel as if I haven’t portrayed one of the character’s well, or if you’ve noticed a atrocious grammatical error, just tell me how bad I effed up in the comments. I fully accept constructive criticism and derogatory racial slurs. Those dang spinnakers!!




         Samus stood in front of the door and sighed. She looked down at her feet, then gazed at her arms. She pulled part of the skintight bodysuit at her stomach, then let go. The suit snapped back. “Son of a…!” Smaus rubbed her now sore stomach. “Geez… I wear this darn suit on a regular basis, why am I so… weirded out this time?” The bounty hunter asked herself.


         Samus rubbed her temples. “Oh well… I doubt those guys will even notice… Wait… I’m a badass bounty hunter! I caused a whole planet to blow up! Why should I care about what those two idiots think? Heck, why should I care about what anyone thinks?” Samus, now filled with pride, pushed open the door leading to the interviewing room, and marched right in.


         “Wow, did you get a new design?” Captain Falcon asked. “You look ten times hotter now!”


         “Shut up you b-rate racer! I got a new design, so fricking what? I have jet boots now! Jet boots!! I can now kick you Falcon ass all the way to SR388! So just shut up about how my new chest looks you pervert!!” Samus exploded, her face red due a combination of anger and embarrassment.


         Link’s eyes darted between both bounty hunters.


         “I-I…” Captain Falcon studdered. He thought for a second, then asked, “Are you on your period?”


         “No! W-why!? Are you on yours?” Samus spat back.




         The two males in the room shared a look.


         Samus crossed her arms over her chest while she walked to her seat. As she sat down, the blonde began to feel bad about her little rant at Captain Falcon. Took a deep breath, “Hey, abou…”


         Captain Falcon suddenly broke into laughter, cutting Samus off.  “Aw man! And I thought Jody was intense when it was her time of the month.”


         Samus snarled, “It’s not my time of the month!!”


         Captain Falcon put his arms up, pretending that he believed her. “Sure, whatever you say.”


         “That was nothing,” Link began, attempting to diffuse the situation. “Whenever it’s Zelda’s time, it’s almost as if she gets turned into a wolf. Hey that reminds me… I wonder how Minda is doing? I should probably call her today…”




         Link jumped, then turned to face Sheik who had suddenly appeared in the seat next to him. “As a friend, geez!!”


         Sheik raised an eyebrow.


         “That was one game!” Link defended.


         Sheik pierced Link with a look.


         “Just because she’s only been in one game doesn’t mean I should never talk to her again!”


         Sheik’s arms crossed.


         “Why must you act like this every time I mention Minda?”


         Sheik merely huffed.


         “You’re right, it’s not JUST Minda. You also get bend out of shape anytime I mention Saria…”


         Sheik’s eyes rolled.


         “Fine, fine, but don’t think you’ve won! We’ll talk about this later…”


         “What… the heck?” Captain Falcon inquired.


         Sheik and Link faced Falcon.


         “First of all, how in Nintendo did you get here?” The Captain asked Sheik. “And second,” his eyes were now locked on Link, “Why are you dropping your girlfriend issues on this… ninja guy anyways?”

         “Sheik can teleport and stuff. And I’m not dropping any…! Wait, ninja guy?” Link questioned, with extra emphasis on guy.


         Captain Falcon slowly nodded his head, as If link was a child. “Yes Link, ‘guy’. As in male. Opposite of female. Pfft, no wonder you don’t have the Triforce of Wisdom, or whatever…”


         Link was about to tell Captain Falcon the truth, but Samus interrupted. “Yeah Link, Sheik is a dude,” Samus said with a wink.


         Link turned his attention to Sheik. The Sheikah shrugged. Link let out a sigh, “Yeah, I’m just an idiot.”


         Captain Falcon smiled, hitting Sheik on the shoulder. The F-Zero motioned to Link. “This guy, am I right? I guess you brain just starts to leave you after talking to fairies for most of your life.”


         Link bit his lip, restraining himself.


         “So…” Samus started as she picked up the application on the table. “Says here we’re supposed to be interviewing a Pokémon. Gre…ninja?”


         On the spot, a tall blue frog suddenly appeared in the middle of the room in a burst of smoky water. The water splashed across the room, spraying Samus, Link, and Captain Falcon. Sheik, using ninja-like reflexes, avoided the splash.


         “I’m wet…” Samus grumbled.


         “You can say that again,” Captain Falcon retorted.


         “I’m wet…” Samus grumbled again.


         Captain Falcon giggled.


         “Oh grow up!” Samus growled.


         “Gre…” Greninja snickered.


         “Let’s hurry this thing up…” Link mumbled. “I have to go home and change now.”


         Samus cleared her throat. “Well then… Greninja. Let’s start the interview.”


         “Wait, we’re interviewing a Pokémon? Where’s his trainer? How’s this… frog here gonna answer any questions?” Captain Falcon glanced at the Ninja Pokémon. “And is that your tongue wrapped around your neck?!”


         “Gre, greninja! Nin, nin, ninja. Grenin gre, nin ninja. Greninja, gre gren. Ninja nin nin gre. Greninja ninja, ninja nin. Gre, gre, grenin greninja!” Greninja beamed.


         The judges stared blankly at the Pokémon.


         “Did anyone get that?” Falcon asked the group.


         “Yes,” Sheik said in a monotone. “He says that he’s glad to be here.” Sheik nodded at Greninja, to which the Pokémon vigorously nodded back.


         The Captain stared at Sheik. “Dude, you speak frog?”


         The Sheikah confirmed.


         “So you can translate, cool.” Link gave the Pokémon a smile. “Then let’s get started. Again.”


         Samus grabbed a pen and held it at the application. “First question, why do you think you’re qualified to become a smash fighter?”


         “Nin… ja… Greninja ninja. Gre gre grenin. Ninja nin, greninja. Renin, gre greninja. Gre, grenin, ninja.” The water type replied.


         “Greninja feels that since he is a fan favorite generation six pokemon, he should be able to further prove his abilities. He also said that he wants to show his skills to Charizard,” Sheik commented.


         “Why Charizard?” Link asked.


         Greninja puffed out its chest. “Greninja nin ninja! Gre, nin ninja, gre greninja!!”


         “He wants to beat Charizard to show players that the newest generation of Pokémon is as good as, if not better, than the first generation.”


         “I can’t believe it…” Captain Falcon said under his breath.


         “What’s it this time?” Link asked with exasperation.


         “It’s just that this frog is applying to become a Smash Fighter. With the flaming lizard, that blue dog thing, and Pika-whatever coming back, fricking Pokémon is getting already enough time in the limelight. Now to mention the fact that the Kirby clone that never stops singing is probably coming back…” The Falcon leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “I mean come on… I haven’t even been confirmed yet!!”


         “You’re pretty much guaranteed to come back, you know. Besides, I have it worse. My fricking power suit’s become sentient!” Samus shouted.


         “Yeah, and Sheik over here is now detached from Zel…” Link began, but bit his lip as Sheik stomped on his foot.


         Both bounty hunters stared at the swordsman.


         “Nothing. Let’s just move on.” Link sputtered.


         “Ninja…?” Greninja puzzled.


         Link hit the red button on the desk, distracting the Pokémon with the sandbag. “So now, show us the moveset you’ll be using in the game.”


         Greninja glanced at Link, then back at the sand bag. He turned to face the judges again. He bowed to them before getting into a fighting stance. “Gre… Ninja!”




         Greninja teleported back to the floor as the sand slammed down behind him. He gave the judges another bow, signifying that he was finished.


         “That was certainly… interesting,” Samus said.


         “He used his tongue as an attack…” Captain Falcon squeaked.


         “It’s nice to see someone, or should I say something, use a fighting style similar to mine,” Sheik stated.


         “Aren’t tongue attacks more Yoshi’s style?” The Captain asked.


         Sheik gave Falcon an expressionless look.


         Captain Falcon thought. “Oh, you mean like a ninja fighting style.”


         Sheik nodded.


         The F-Zero pilot laughed, “I understand now, dude.”


         “Yay, Captain Bird Brain grew a brain cell.” Samus quipped.


         Captain glared at the blonde.


         Link rolled his eyes. “You two can flirt with each other later, I’m still wet, remember?”


         Samus’ eyebrows furrowed. “We’re not…!”


         “Last question!” Link yelled to cut off Samus. His focused on the water type. “What should players expect from you while playing the game?”


         Greninja scratched the side of his head. “Ninja… Greninja… Gre gre ninja! Greninja grenin. Ninja, gre. Gre, grenin, ninja ninja. Gre greninja!”


         “He says a speedy style with great attack to boot.”


         Link wrote that down, then presented the application to Greninja. “Great, now all you have to do is sign here and put you initials here.”


         Greninja shot out his tongue towards Link, causing the young man to flinch. The Pokémon had merely grabbed the pen with his tongue and proceeded to sign the application. He then dropped the now slimy pen back onto the table.


         The four judges stared at the moist pen. Samus looked up at where Greninja stood, but saw nothing. The water type had vanished.


         “Pfft, who even play Pokémon these days? Only losers and little girls, right? Hey, that actually sounds like the perfect game for you, Pixie Stick.” Captain Falcon exploded in laughter. He smacked Sheik’s chest, about to follow up on his joke but suddenly stopped laughing. He kept his hand where it was, but turned his head to face the Sheikah. “Holy crap, you’re a girl.”


         Sheik quickly stood up, grabbing Falcon’s hand and twisting it behind his back. She then slammed Captain Falcon’s face into the table.


         “I don’t know if just the pain talking,” Captain Falcon said through heavy breaths, “but you just got ten times hotter than Samus.”


         Sheik twisted Captain Falcon arm back even farther.


         “Son of Goroh that hurts!!”


         “You know what,” Link mentioned, ignoring Falcon’s screams of pain, “Greninja got me thinking, I would look amazing in a scarf.”