Super Smash Bros. Character Interview #2


Hey there ladies and gents! Welcome to another humble iteration of my SSB character Interviews. If you haven't read the first one, here's the link:

So here's the spiel, this is sorta like a fanfiction. Except not posted on fanfiction. Why? Because I thought this story would be better shown to you nerds. In case you haven't looked at the title of the picture above, this is a Smash Bros. story. This is the second character interview story. I have already done Mega Man and next on my list is The Villager and Wii Fit Trainer. I'll write more stories as more character's are revealed. NOW READ MY STORY!!!!!!

WARNING: This is by no means excellent writing. While I am an excellent writer, this little piece of writing genius was done rather quickly. So.... DEAL WIT IT!!!

'NOTHER WARNING: If you feel as if I haven't portrayed the character's well, feel free to complain in the comments section.


         Captain Falcon took another bite out of the Maximum Tomato and felt his nose again. It still hurt the bounty hunter. He glared at Samus, blood dripping out of his nose.

         Samus crossed her arms over his chest shot Captain Falcon an irritated look. "Stop looking at me, pervert!"

         "What are you talking about? My nose is bleeding because you broke it yesterday! Besides, your zero suit isn't that appealing to me anymore," The Captain replied.

         Samus gave Captain Falcon an angrier look. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

         "Let's face it, your old hat. I think the gamers need some different eye candy."

         Samus unstrapped her paralyzer from her thigh and pointed it at Captain Falcon. "Care to say that again?"

         "Why are you always so quick to shoot?!"

         "I was trained to be quick to shoot." Before Samus could inflict more pain upon the Captain, someone knocked on the door. She quickly holstered her pistol, not wanting to scare off the next interviewee.

         "Oh great," Link muttered as a blue haired swordsman entered the room. Raising his voice, the pointy eared hero asked, "what are you doing here Marth?"

         "Hey guys, I'm just here to judge with you," Marth answered.

         "What happened to Fox?" Samus Asked.

         "Oh he had something to do, and hearing that Link was a judge, I decided to take the reins from Fox." Marth walked up to the table and sat in the empty seat next to Link. The Hero-King brushed the hair out of his face with his hand looked at link. "If your not doing anything, could we perhaps have couple of drinks after the interview?"

         "Well you see... Uh, I actually have to something to do later on..."

         Marth pouted while asking, "What could be so important that you can't have just a couple of drinks?"

         "Umm..." Before Link could finish his sentence, the newest smash candidate walked through the doors. "Oh thank goodness," he said under his breath.

         "Hello there, is this where the Smash Bros. interviews are held at?" Asked a woman wearing yoga pants and a blue tank top.

         Captain Falcon saw the interviewee and vaulted over the table. He landed on one knee in front of the woman and grasped her hand.  "Why yes it is, miss. And may I say, you look truly amazing."

         The woman giggled before saying, "And I thought Mario was pudgy."

         Falcon looked at his slightly distended stomach then reverted his attention back to the woman. "I like you already."

         "Get back here, you idiot!" Samus demanded.

         Captain Falcon gave the Wii Fit Trainer a sly smile before going back to his seat.

         "You know," Samus said while pointed her thumb at Captain Falcon, "you wouldn't have guys like this going head over heels for you if you wore more appropriate clothes."

         "This coming from a girl wearing a skin tight jumpsuit?" The trainer retorted.

         "A jumpsuit that I wear under a suit of armor made by a highly intelligent race of extraterrestrials."

         "And yet you had to have your old commanding officer tell you when you could equip your other suits."

         "At least my game didn't come with a stupid peripheral!"

         "Cat fight!" Captain Falcon yelled. The Wii Fit Trainer and Samus gave the F-Zero pilot deafening stares.

         "Can we start the interview now?" Link asked.

         The trainer smiled at Link, "Of course, let's begin."

         "First question, why do you think you're qualified to become a smash fighter?"

         The woman chuckled. "I honestly wanted to join your group for the exercise. But I guess if I get in I could help some of the more heavyset characters burn a couple of calories. I also think I be quite an interesting character to join your midst."

         "I know what you mean, I've always tried to get Link to do some yoga with me to help him stay in shape," Marth said.

         Link raised an eyebrow while saying, "Sure, that's the reason."

         "What are you talking about? I just wouldn't want the wielder of the Triforce of Courage to get unfit, that's all," Marth explained while using his fingers to walk up Link's arm.

         The conversation between the two swordsmen made the Captain pretend to gag. Link was about to punch Falcon's arm when he imagined what would happen if the racer decided to punch back. The Hylian just grumbled to himself, not happy with his current position.

         Samus leaned her head off the back of the chair and looked at the white ceiling. "Let's get this over with already," she groaned.

         "Why are you in such a hurry? It's not like you have a game being made," the Wii Fit Trainer quipped.

         "And you do?" Samus asked through gritted teeth.

         "Wii Fit U, you've probably never heard of it," the trainer smirked.

         Samus stood up and targeted the Wii Fit Trainer with her paralyzer. "Screw this, let's fight! Right here, right now!" the bounty hunter yelled.

         "Gladly, and I'll even do it with the use of fancy gadgets," the yoga instructor said.

         "What's up with you?" Link questioned Smaus.

         "She started it!" Samus barked.

         The Wii Fit Trainer smiled at Samus. "And I'll end it."

         "I'm so glad I came into work today," Captain Falcon said, giddy for the impending fight.

         "These two are not fighting." Link held.

         "Oh come on Link, I say let them fight. Besides, we can use this fight to gauge the Wii Fit Trainer battle prowess," Marth added.

         Link sighed, "Fine Samus, you can fight her. I guess we don't need to sand bag."

         "Like I was going to listen to you if you said I couldn't." Samus walked around the table and up to the trainer, inches away from their noses touching. The women glowered into each others eyes.

         "I don't think this is a good idea," Link complained.

         Captain Falcon put his arm around Link's shoulders. "Be a man, cat fights are always a good idea."

         "Alright girls," Marth said while picking up his clipboard, "Let's go."


         When the match ended, Samus and the Wii Fit Trainer exhausted their energy. The stench of sweat wafted through the air. Samus walked back to the table and slumped in her seat. The trainer was standing in front of the table, less visibly exhausted than Samus.

         "In... your face," Samus huffed.

         "I'm sorry Ms. Aran, did I wear you out?" the Wii Fit Trainer asked. "It seems like your not used to fighting without your power suit."

         "I am going to destroy you."

         "Seems like you'd have to get into better shape first."

         "Your mom needs to get into better shape!"

         "At least I have parents."

         Samus stared at the Trainer before sighing and looking up at the ceiling.

         "Tsk, tsk, tsk," was all the Trainer said.

         "Moving on," Link said, uncomfortable with the current situation, "here's the last question. What should players come to expect from you in the next Smash Bros.?

         "Well they should expect more health conscious fighting from me. I'm not one of those fighters who blatantly go around misusing their body. I prefer to get fit while talking smash."

         "Great, thanks for the input."

         "Your welcome Link," she replied.

         "Your welcome Link," Samus mocked in a high tone.

         "Now Samus, is that any way to treat such a beautiful lady?" Captain Falcon inquired.

         "I broke your nose yesterday, do you want me to break something more important today?"

         "...You need to learn how to calm down."

         Samus growled at Captain Falcon.

         "Point taken," the Captain said.

         "Is that the end of it then?" the Trainer asked the judges.

         "I believe so," Marth answered.

         "Well then I hope to see you all in the next Smash Bros. installment." The Wii Fit Trainer bowed her head and walked out the door.

         "She's definitely getting in," Captain Falcon said while piling the applications in the out box.

         "Ha, I doubt it," Samus muttered.

         Link shook his head at Samus's juvenile actions and was about to leave when something pull at his tunic.

         "Hey Link, as I was asking earlier, would you like to get some drinks?" Marth asked again.

         "Sorry Marth, I really do have something to have to do... now."

         Marth pouted. "Can you at least tell me what?"

         "I have to, um... take Luigi to the doctor. He's been having really strange dreams lately," Link said.

         Marth was confused, "Isn't his brother a doctor?"

         Link slowly started walking towards the door. "Yep."

         "Well see you around then," Marth muttered sadly.

         "Sure thing," Link said while running out the door.

         Marth turned to look at Captain Falcon poking Samus's cheek. She was too tired to tell him to stop and was lazily swatting his hand away. Marth sighed. "Hey Falcon, do you want to go get some drinks?"

         "Sure, as long I have some... FALCON PUNCH!!!!" Captain Falcon yelled.

         He stood up and walked out the door with Marth right behind him. The blue haired swordsman closed the door behind him, leaving Samus alone in the room.

         "Ow..." she muttered.