GameInformer

At the age of 1 my family was slaughtered by a pack of rabbit wolves but I managed to fend them off with my fists. I was later rescued by a group of Centaurs who turned out to be waging a one sided war on squirrels. In last ditch effort to win the war the squirrels gave the Centaurs a peace offering of salmon on toast. However the squirrels had deliberately left the bones in and the Centaur Chief died. The Centaurs were sent into disarray and the squirrels won the war and enslaved all Centaurs. Since I was not Centaur in blood I was sent on a mission to retrieve the one weapon that would allow the Centaurs to rise against their oppressors, bacon. I searched for thousands of years before I realized bacon came from pigs. I returned to the Centaurs but they had risen without me and all the squirrels had been eaten alive. I was outcast for failing my mission. I was sent into the Great Desert and I fell through a rift in time and learned of a great danger that would end the world! I tried to save the Centaurs but it turned out that I had just had too much skooma. After that I lived with a pack of sloths but left because of boredom. In fact I'm pretty bored writing this now but you are still reading so you must be enthralled with my thrilling tale. Well too bad.

The End