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Spyro is what got me into gaming. I was addicted to Spyro, too young to know the real potential of the internet, or any of that stuff. I would beg my mother to buy any Spyro game that ended up being advertised (and I think all Spyro games got advertised, with the exception of the mobile games). I would even beg her to buy the Spyro games that seemed GREAT for me at first, before I grew to be my current age, realizing how crappy those certain games really were (Spyro: Shadow Legacy and Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly).
Spyro was my childhood, my life. Nothing else mattered to me.
But then, after I straightforward completed Spyro: Shadow Legacy, I expected its sequel to come out soon. Unfortunately, a new purple warrior emerged. His crocodilian face made me realize that the Spyro games were over; they were dead, that they suck.
I hated The Legend of Spyro with a passion. I hated the series's Spyro with a passion. I didn't want to accept the new games. I didn't want ANY of that.
"No! Please! Don't give me that ugly ***!" - my mind.
But then Dawn of the Dragon was advertised. A new, female face confused me into thinking that I was looking at the classic Spyro that I knew and loved. She looked mysterious. She looked...beautiful.
But then I didn't see Spyro on the radar for the next few years. I wondered what it was about The Legend of Spyro that made it so attractive. Therefore, I watched videos of the first game. I was surprised at it. It looked like nothing I've ever seen before in Spyro, considering that it was not the Spyro I knew, not even close. I was mystified, but I adored the game.
But I was desperate to see the series's ending. I looked at it, and could not believe my eyes. "He DIED?!?!" my mind thought.
But then I saw, on Wikipedia, that another Spyro reboot was on the way. "Skylanders: Spyro's Adventure?" my mind asked itself. "What does it have to do with Spyro: Shadow Legacy?"
I had a personal theory that it was a sequel to Dawn of the Dragon. Turns out, I was deeply wrong. I was horribly wrong.
I was disturbed at the new purple face, even more than I was for The Legend of Spyro's Spyro.
But then I looked at a few films about the game. I loved the concept, the graphics, everything.
But then the Funkies were staring at me (UB Funkies; I was using my desktop computer, and I used to have those things in front of it).
"They just want your money," one said.
"Yeah, they want you to piss your parents off so they buy **** toys," another said.
"And, what, for a game?" yet another one said.
"I have you guys," I said. "What's wrong with getting more toys?"
"They're ripping us off, knucklehead!"
"Yeah, plus, Spyro's in there with water-themed levels, and he's not even swimming! Isn't that a feature you love?"
I started having doubts for Skylanders, but then the doubt turned to hate. I gave the middle finger to the game, and everyone in there who liked the game.
But then I noticed how evil this hate was making me become. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't accept the new games.
I started heavily using the internet to forget the terror, to forget everything, especially Spyro: Shadow Legacy's unresolved cliffhanger. I also relied on my father's trips. I was trying to get a better life.
The Funkies became lifeless. Spyro became crystallized. They could no longer speak to me, and I can no longer speak to them. I gave them away, so I can live past my past.
I got a PS3 by the end of the year. I loved the game that came with the system: LittleBigPlanet 2. I loved it so much that I played the **** out of the game. Even my sister got on the ball.
I stopped because Spyro was creeping up on me. He was crying. He was hurt.
"I thought you were stuck in a crystal," I said.
"I was just hiding," he said.
"Hiding? Hiding where?"
"The Shadow Realm."
"Why would you hide there?"
I couldn't touch him. We both heard monstrous voices. As soon as I found nothing, he was gone. It was a dream.
I couldn't bare myself. I couldn't touch myself. I was scared, confused, angry, with reminders of the portal creatures returning.
Hate returned. The monster I was keeping inside was let free by a mysterious force. Insomnia returned.
But then I came across Cheezburger. I messed around in it, trying to make myself known. I broke the rules of the internet, made everyone mad, to let myself known.
But when I spread my first Spyro & Skylanders meme, people were overjoyed. I became famous for my words.
"Yeah, I have to agree," one said. "Some kids would **** off seeing 'crap-ass' classic Spyro."
"I'd beat the **** out of the child who does," another said.
But then I suddenly had a destiny. Spyro was calling me. He was giving me a mission.
"I want you to get me back in," he said.
"How?" I said.
"I'll tell you. Just find a place to spread my words."
I didn't argue. I searched far and wide for a place to spread my words.
Then I found darkSpyro. I was confused to see that, in addition to being a Spyro forum. It was also a Skylanders forum.
I didn't want to wait any longer. I asked to join the site.
As soon as I was accepted, I started spreading my ideas while simultaneously keeping my comedy streak alive.
I spread my ideas wherever I can, no matter the response.
But then I started to pay the price. I was blind. I didn't know that I was angering the users, both of Cheezburger and darkSpyro.
"SHUT THE **** UP!" TheEpicGuy said.
My Skylanders hate returned and took a toll on me. For many months, I bashed everyone who had a fond of the series.
The responses built up my guilt, which quickly turned to hate, making my hate stronger.
A universal hate built up inside of me. I hated everything. Not even my favorite games can soothe me.
I started getting suspended more frequently than my cell phone rang.
I still cry to sleep. I feel insecure.
But then Spyro came along again.
"Dude, what are you doing?" he asked.
"Spreading the word, like you said," I said.
"You're ****ing doing it wrong!"
"How am I supposed to do it?"
He told me that I can put my ideas in story form. I did, but the hate was still there. He noticed, and then consulted me once more.
"You're lucky I don't flame your ass," he said.
"These mofos won't shut up about Sky --"
"I get it, but ****ting about it would just make you look like ****."
"What am I supposed to do? I'm hated!"
"Stop ****ting about Skylanders, okay? It's a game."
"But you know what they did to your na --"
"Just shut up for a minute, will ya? I have an idea."
He looked down and played with his Shadowstone for about a minute. He always seems to be curious about his amulet.
Then he spoke. "They're gonna want something Skylanders-related out of the game."
"What do they want?"
"They don't want to leave their Skylanders, man!"
"So we let them take the Skylanders with them?"
"And bring them into the new game!"
I was amazed at the words. It made me realize that maybe there's something about Skylanders that is truly wonderful. I don't know what it is, and I still don't want to know, but at least I am less angry than I was before. My mood still fluctuates between hate and enlightenment, but I at least now know that there's still a chance.
I am now looking towards the future. I am looking for good things in Skylanders. I am staring the god of the portals in the face, hoping I can kindly confront him.
"Some day, Spyro. It'll happen."
Don't get me wrong, I still go on Activision hate. Here's my angriest hate:
I'm *** tired of seeing this Skylanders ***. It makes me want to shoot the *** out of the executives. All of them.
I will rape them, hang them, cut them up, chew their flesh, have their eyeballs for breakfast, use their penises as sex toys, *** on their faces in the toilet, *** on their cars, drown their cars in the river...
You have made me very angry, Activision. You have made a deep shithole for Spyro, and he found his way within me. He is not pleased. He is not pleased one bit. You say he's happy with Skylanders, but you all know, even I know, that he just pretends to be happy so you don't *** him out of Skylanders or video gaming in general. You aren't the type of person to be a hero. You aren't the type of person to give a *** about actually caring for games that WE want. We don't want Call of Duty anymore. We don't want Skylanders anymore. We do NOT want any of your ***-ass ***. You call your games great, the critics call all your games great. You know what I call them? Devilishly evil. You are wasting our money, our time, our grace, with every single piece of *** you poop into our stores. EA is better than you!
One day, something will happen to you. When that happens, I will be there. I'll be there to *** your ass and say, "I *** told you so!" Do you know who you're dealing with? HUH? I may not have the physical capabilities to *** your ass in person, but I can use symbolism. I can attack you like a robot in disguise, and you won't even be there to notice! Have you ever considered looking farther in some of your "dead" games?
You call yourself "important." You call yourself "essential." You call yourself the ultimate company in video gaming. Well, GUESS WHAT? That only calls for marketing, you *** ***! I am absolutely furious with what you did. I am absolutely steaming like an angry volcano, and I am taking all my *** ass time to emphasize my hate for you. You give me a reason to lose my gaming spirits.
Nothing can soothe me. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY WITH THAT! I don't think I'm the only one who hates your ass like this, either. Millions of others give into you because they don't know better. Millions are hypnotized by the crap you send out. They are permanently damaged by your cancerous ***. YOUR CANCEROUS ***!!!!!!!!!11
I hope you're happy with all of your ***. Keep up your ***, and your life will end. YOUR LIFE WILL END, ***!!!!!!!!!
Long story short, on the outside, I'm really just an ordinary guy who has a passion for video games, especially Spyro. ***, I want a new one so bad. I'd LOVE it to be an RPG, but A-wall-vision doesn't want to give a *** about it.
For now, I'm playing Dark Souls, Watch_Dogs, and Rayman Legends. I hope that a new Spyro game will come one day.