Blog Posts by Jeff Akervik - www.GameInformer.com
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  • Behold The Beauty VII: Your Lucky Number!

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    You've waited this long, so why wait any longer? Here's another batch of ridiculous video game covers to make your day that much better. Promise.

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    My eyes! My eyes!!

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  • Behold The Beauty VI: So Bad, It's Good!

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    I apologize for the rate at which these stupendous displays of box art wizardry are trickling out. I just don't get around to pumping these bad boys out as frequently as I used to. But fear not, as long as I'm breathing (and Game Informer gainfully employs me), I'll do my best to expose the masses to the wonderment that is Behold the Beauty. That, and I need a confidence boost every once in a while. So here we go with round six. Strap yourselves in, you might get nauseous along the way.




    Let's pull no punches and dive right in, shall we? It's AAARGH! that settles into the leadoff spot this time around, and what an impression it makes.

    I get the whole energy rush one would get from witnessing – and controlling! – an epic battle between a fierce fire-breathing dragon and an intimidating Cyclops with Spock-like ears and a nasty horn jutting out of his head. It's even cooler that these larger-than-life combatants are busting out of their respective arcade cabinets like a jack-in-the-box on steroids as some poor schmuck – with fashionable rolled up jeans and shiny black shoes – tries to harness their power with his wired joystick. Heck, there's even electricity coursing through and out of each arcade cabinet; this cover just screams ACTION! And what better way to aptly communicate this not-to-be-missed experience than with the brilliant title of AAARGH!

    AAARGH! is what I immediately think (and maybe even mutter under my breath) when I read that the title of this game is, in fact, AAARGH! The creative well must have been running critically low when the marketing wizards christened this baby with such a horrendous name. Here's hoping they never made a sequel to this masterstroke. Can you imagine the possibilities? EEEK! UGGHHH! OOOMPH! GAAAHHHHH! Ok, I'd rather not.

    I will say, though, that Cyclops does have some nicely combed hair. Gotta reach that female demographic any way you can.

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    It's craptastic times ten!

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  • Behold The Beauty V: Yep, More

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    So it's been quite a while since I wrote my last Behold the Beauty. To be honest, I've been quite busy with actual work that doesn't involve sarcastically mocking horrible video game covers. (I know, how can this not be my full-time gig?) Thankfully, I've been able to carve out some time to once again focus some loving attention on that rare breed of box art that is memorable for all the wrong reasons. I just hope I haven't lost my touch – not that it matters that much since these bad boys tend to speak for themselves. Get it on…

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    More video game cover art that was supposed to be good, but isn't.

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  • Finally! An Update On My Pile Of Shame

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    A long overdue status update on something most people care little to nothing about. Joy.

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  • Behold The Beauty IV: Even Worse Than You Remember

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    It's been a while since the last stupendous iteration of Behold the Beauty blinded us with its brilliance, so I thought it was about time to blind us all over again. For those not well-versed in Roman numerals, this is the fourth part of what is seemingly a never-ending deluge of artistic junk (parts one, two, and three here, here, and here). That is, video game covers "designed" by supposed "professionals" who prove that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. So take a gander at the following ten covers I've lovingly singled out and see how long you can go without wanting to throw up in your mouth.

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    And you thought this blog was dead. Trust me, this crap never dies. Ever.

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  • Dark Link Statue Is Impressive...And Dark

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    Ganon would be so proud.

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  • Best Zelda Commercial Ever

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    Like I needed another reason to love the Zelda franchise.

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  • Professional Wrestling Used To Be So Great

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    What do you get when you mix an abortion of wrestling creativity with a stubborn wall? Pure gold, that's what...

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  • What Is Your State The Worst At?

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    Here in good 'ol Minnesota we're apparently the worst at..wait for it...tornadoes. Huh? Yep, it's a dubious list indeed. See for yourself.

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  • What Could Have Been

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    Could it be your love of a particular video game is the result of more than just the title's endearing qualities? I'm starting to think so.

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  • The Arrival Of Fierce Deity Link

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    Now my days here at GI are endlessly consumed by nothing but fear (and dreams of Zelda). And then more fear.

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  • What Game Should I Play Next?

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    Wanna help me decide which stellar title in my robust gaming collection I should play next? Of course you do.

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