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Veteran Member - Level 11
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Word to the wise, rarely take me seriously.
I was born June 11th, 1996, effectively making me 18. I lived the first eight years of my life in the sunny California, then moved to Virgina, where I currently reside. I was born to a black mother and a Mexican father, making me a Blexican. My parents are currently divorced, but are actually on good terms with each other. Pretty lucky, don't cha think? I have one full sister and a half brother on my father's side. I only really live with my sister, as my step-brother was kidnapped was his mother. And that's just the tip of the iceberg of my crazy life. I've been through quite a fair share of crap, so don't think I lacking in life experience. Anywho, since my sister is (sadly) 100% related to me, she switches back and forth between parents with me. One week we're with my father at my grandmother's house, then the next week we're with my mother in her own house. I'm a senior in high school who's graduating in two months with little clue of what I wanna do with my life...
I'm a crazy, loud, obnoxious, narcissistic, idiotic, jerk. I'm an *** in nearly every sense of the word. I also have a dark, "special" sense of humor. I'm prone to cracking inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times, making light of any situation, and saying whatever the hell is on my mind without a second thought. Even though you should rarely take me seriously, I actually have a mind and a heart to me, they just require some slight digging to get to. Deep, deep down in the black abyss of soul I'm a good guy who's easy to talk to and willing to help people out with whatever problem they have. I'm also a writer, so there's that...
3DS code: 5370-0495-7027
Wii U ID: Cpu_Xl
Games I need/want/NEED!!!
Need for Speed: Rivals
Killzone: Shadow Fall
The Order: 1886
inFAMOUS: Second Son
Deus Ex Human Revolution: Director's Cut
Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze
Mario Kart 8
Super Smash Bros. Wii U
Kirby Triple Deluxe
Super Smash Bros. 3DS
Games I have to finish or die trying
Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time
Injustice: Gods Among Us
Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 Remix
LEGO City: Undercover
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
LEGO Marvel Super Heroes
Super Mario 3D World
New Super Mario Bros. 2
Kingdom Hearts 3D
Fire Emblem: Awakening
Animal Crossing: New Leaf
The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds
Games I'm playing right now
Games I've finished
The Last of Us
New Super Mario Bros. U
Need for Speed: Most Wanted U
Mega Man X
Paper Mario: Sticker Star
Awesome People List
Moore is awesome, I guess. I mean he's alright if you like the kind of
guy who always, and I mean ALWAYS, asks questions. It's everyday with
this kid! He's all like, who's your favorite comic book character, or
have you ever pulled an all-nighter to finish a game, or who do you like
better; Mario or Sonic. Blah, blah, blah!
is Ash. She's female. She's also a evil secret ninja warrior. Trust me
guys! It all makes sense! She get's hurt a lot, why? Because she's
always out fighting her enemies ! She has cats, why? Because she uses
them to train her cat-like reflexes! She quite morbid, why? Because she
has magical demon powers! She watches Dr.What'sHisFace, why? Because she
also has time traveling powers! She has a thing for Loki, why? Because
she's learning how to become a better evil villain! She gonna kill us
all!! AHHHHHHHH!!! We need a hero to save us from the evil clutches of
Ash, The 13th Crawler of the Night!!!! What's that in the air? It's a
bird! It's a plane! It's a jew! A jew? No!! It's Super Cpu!!
lovely lady made me a Cpu Xl banner! That's about it, I don't really
know anything else about her... I know she a girl. And possibly human,
but you never know. She could easily be an extraterrestrial on a mission
from her home planet to investigate the odd behaviors of human video
gamers. IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY MAN!!!! THE GOVERNMENT'S HOLDING ALL THE
Trenchy is a wonderful guy. That is all.
MY LITTLE ASIAN BUDDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday Morning Replay
is an overall great guy who can speak Japanese. Why he insists on
rubbing it in my face, I'll never know. He also enjoys world domination,
so don't freak out when he becomes dictator of the world. Even though
I'll become world dictator first, I'll let him dream. Maybe he can
become vice dictator? That's got a nice ring to it, doesn't it.
Next up is Vanz, my total BFFFL. Why is she my best female friend for life
you might ask? BECAUSE SHE"S FRICKEN" AWESOME!!!!! Despite her
crippling Zelda addiction. And the fact that the slightest amount of
confrontation will cause her to find a corner and cry. And the fact that
it's nearly impossible to scroll down her humongous page. And the fact
that she always shoots me in the face in Uncharted. And the fact she
doesn't love me!!! *cries* Anyway, Vanz is pretty cool. My thunder
buddy. A fantastic friend. The nicest person you'll ever meet. She's
just such a great gal. I'm totally gonna dump her tomorrow morning. (JK
Vanz, we can still be friends... for now... BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!)
(insert name here)NIK
is one of those guys who insists on changing the first part of his name
24/7. It's kinda annoying. I never know what to call him! I mean come
on, who needs an open ended name? I don't randomly change my name to
CpuTheTriforceWielder, or Do NOT Cpu This, or Cpu (CMONEY), or CpuNIK!
That would be outrageous! A name is a name, you can't change it
willy-nilly! *calms down* NIK also like Daft Punk. That's pretty much
the only reason he's up here.. and because he made me a chocolate pizza.
Just look at it! foodfamilyfinds.com/.../nutella-chocolate-pizza-cookie.jpg
and I are like two peas in separate pods in different countries. I
don't really have anything else about him... We both like Deadpool, so
that's a plus I guess... This is getting awkward... Time for some jokes!
Why do gorilla's have big fingers? Because they have big nostrils!
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Okay, another. What did the farmer say about the two
cows in love? He said they were perfect for each udder!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! Okay, last one. Did you know that diarrhea is
hereditary? It runs in the jeans! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcYppAs6ZdI
some reason "Volt", If that's even his real name, didn't like what I
originally put up about him. So for that, I say screw him. Besides, Volt
Devilray is a stupid name. At first I thought his name was Volt
Delivery, but noooooo!!! He has to be all different and make his name
Volt Devilray!! I MEAN WHAT THE HECK DOES DEVILRAY MEAN!!!!!! All I
think of is a devil shoot laser rays out of it's eyes. And that's just
Thunder is a invaluable friend. Without him, who would I beat up in PS
All-Stars? Who would I share my hate of the Xbox One with? Who would
be the jelly in my sandwich? In fact, once he even made me a sandwich, a
kind of dry sandwich, but a sandwich none-the-less. I think it was a
BLT, hold the T. And the L. And the bread. I actually think is was just
bacon on a plate. With a side of eggs and toast. Wait, no... I think
that's what I had for breakfast today. What did thunder make me again...
Hmmm... Oh that's right, he made me Kirby cupcakes. Look at them: http://cutestfood.com/uploads/2010/01/kirbycupcakes07.jpg
They were magically delicious! Hold on a sec... I'm thinking about the
bowl of Lucky Charms I had for breakfast... I thought I had Bacon and
Eggs? I'm so confused... I think I'm gonna take a nap, wake me up when
it's time for dinner.
up is Lucky Koopa, which is by far the stupidest name ever! Last time I
checked, Koopa's aren't lucky at all. Do you how many times Mario
stomps on Koopa's? Probably a lot. That sounds particularity unlucky.
And if that's not the worst, Mario then jumps on their shells to send
them shooting across the stage knocking into their fellow cohorts. At
least they don't get killed immediately when stepped on like those poor
Goomba's. What does Mario have against turtles and mushrooms. I mean
Mario's favorite food are mushrooms, for crying out loud! The red
plumber is just a murderer. And his brother is too! Those guys are just
terrible. Now I know why Bowser hates Mario and Luigi. Maybe King Koopa
isn't a bad guy after all.
name is Gabe and he's younger than me. He's prime trashcan stuffing
material. Just like Max up there. They can be the trash amigo's. Like if
Bert and Ernie lived in a trashcan like Oscar the Grouch. I guess in
that scenario, I'll be Elmo. DNRT could be Big Bird, Vannah would be
Zoe, Warrior can be Cookie Monster, Thunder is Grover, and DoZo is
obviously Oscar (cause he's a jerk). Then we can make small children
come to our street! We can play with them, sing songs, talk about
letters and numbers, force them to come into our houses, hold them
hostage until their parents give us money, and kick them off bridges
after we receive our dough. WE COULD MAKE MILLIONS!!!!
Mr. Stone made me this sandwich! http://i.imgur.com/9MLyzh.jpg
Look at how delicious it is! I would kiss him... if he had a mouth.
I'll just kiss him on the stache. Might get hair in my mouth, but It
will be worth it! It'll be like making out with a rabbit's tail, or a
Pomeranian's butt, or a Poodle's stomach, or a black guy's afro, or
Zangief's chest hair, or... something else that's fluffy. Darn, I had another fluffy object on the tip of my tongue.... Now what was it.....
fluffy. I mean like really fluffy. SHE"S JUST SO FLUFFY!!!!! Whenever I
visit her I'm all like, too much fluff!! I just can't handle it
sometimes.... I just need to get out... Oh hello there window. You're
looking awfully jump-throughable today.... I just have to jump through
you... The way your glass impales me. The sound of you breaking when I
jump through you. The feeling up the air, rushing past me as I descend
down the floors, crashing into the the trash cans below. But alas, the
evil Fluffy has banned me from jumping through you. But fear not my
rectangle love... For I will jump though you again. This I swear. I
TadorHead with Jelly
is Tador, or as I call her, Sauce. I miss Sauce. My meals are lame
without her... My sandwiches are lame... My steaks are lame... My
porkchops are lame... My hamburgers are lame... My fish is lame...
Anything that requires sauce, is lame.... But hey, at least she's
name's Jared but I call him Al. Why? Cause I'm a hipster, y'all!!
PREMIUM GANSTA!!!! I ONCE SHOT A GUY!!!! Yeah I know, you're probably
thinking, "But Cpu is such a nice guy?" But think again cause I"M A
BAAAADASS!!!! My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!! It's better
than yours!! Damn right, it's better than yours!! I could teach you,
but I'd have to charge!! It's bananas!! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!! It's
bananas!! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!! My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps!!
Check it out!! Um, I mean... I don't like pop songs... I prefer to
listen to groups like Two Door Cinema Club. You've probably never heard
of them. #hipsterswag
And I thought Volt's name was stupid. I just mean come on!! A broken
angel? That's just idiotic. Picture an angel. Flying and halo-crowed 'n
stuff. Now picture a broken one. Probably not flying. Probably doesn't
have a halo. He's practically a fallen angel!! Maybe he's THE fallen
angel.... His real name is probably Lucifer!! BROKEN IS THE DEVIL!!!!!
SERENITY NOW!!! SERENITY NOW!!! SERENITY NOW!!!
This World Begins With (???)
That was one time.
the lesser Vannah clone. A freak accident where a lock of Vannah's hair
got contaminated with Chemical Xl. Forming the villainous RedQueen!!
With her ultra super powers, she fights heroes and the forces of good!
One of Super Cpu's sworn enemies, RedQueen flies through the night,
hunting down young innocent children with her psycho mind-control rays,
turning them into her own evil minions. One day, when a large enough
quantity of minions is amassed, she will storm Vannah's fort, usurping
her role as the Triforce Wielder!! But fear not citizens of GIO, for
Super Cpu will ceaselessly watch over Vannah. And when that fateful days
comes, Super Cpu will stand against the RedQueen and strike her
I hate you.
(Yeah that's right, I'm making a list! And your not invited! Unless you ask nicely and bribe me.)
My Friend Song List
is a list of people that remind me of songs Or vice verse. Ergo, My
Friend Song List. It's really not that hard to comprehend people...
Songs of Cpu
West Coast By: Coconut Records
Lonely Boy By: The Black Keys
Animal By: Miike Snow
Holding On For Life By: Broken Bells
DoZo = You're My Best Friend By: Queen
VannahFoxTheTriforceWielder = Love You Madly By: Cake
RedQueen = Whistle For The Choir By: The Fratellis
This World Beings With (???) = Your Woman By: White Town
nightcrawlerash13 = Skinny Love By: Bon Iver
PandaAngel = Instant Crush By: Daft Punk
TardorHead = Song For No One By: Miike Snow
BrokenAngel = Broken By: Gorillaz
jackson stone = Mustache Man (Wasted) By: CAKE
ZERØ = Long Time By: CAKE
Hawke = War Pigs By: Cake
Cpu Xl/This World Begins With (???)/Warrior/Contraigon =
Underwear By: Royal Republic
Girls By: Walter Meego
Like what you see? I KNOW YOU DO!!! My DeviantART page: http://cpuxl.deviantart.com/
now you're probably thinking to yourself, Hey, I want one... Well you
can get one!! Right now I'm making anime look-alike... portrait
things... If you want one made in your likeness, just send me a message
with the the following:
People I'm making pictures for are (in order of who's picture I'm working on next):
***I'M NOT TAKING REQUESTS AT THE MOMENT***
CRAP THAT MATTERS TO ME
And Just Because
Here are the blogs I've published on this site
SSB Character Interviews:
Super Smash Bros. Direct: Recap, Analysis, Impressions, and Thoughts