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A bit of help please!?

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  • Hey everybody!

    I need some help with how I should make the conversations in the story. I am going to use a past form and tell the story from a third person perspective, but I am unsure how to create all the conversations. I checked out some books that I own myself, like Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and Lord of Souls. There the conversations are simply put on stand-alone lines. I'm gonna give a few options I've used myself and maybe you can point out which would be best for a reader:

    1. "Good morning, darling!" Christopher said to his wife.
    2. Christopher: "Good morning, darling!"
    3. As Christopher walked down the stairs and entered the kitchen, he saw his wife making breakfast and he said: "Good morning, darling!" to his beloved wife.

    I would prefer using either the first or second option, because the third would simply get way too difficult and confusing. If you have a better idea, be free to share it with me and the rest of the group.

    Drym Shyuan

  • Mix it up! Use a bit of each to keep the readers engaged.

  • When I'm reading a book, the worst thing any author can do is to make their writing sound repetitive. You definitely want to mix up how your quotations are handled and try using different words other than 'said'. Words like 'exclaimed', 'greeted', 'questioned' help your reader understand the tone and context of the words they're reading. Another tip is that you don't have to constantly use the 'character said' when referring to speech.

    For example, instead of using #3 in its current form, you could try something like "As Christopher walked down the stairs and entered the kitchen, he saw his wife making breakfast and greeted her. "Good morning, darling!" 

    This keeps large amounts of "Person said" identifiers from taking over your story. Also, as a personal preference, I'd stay away from colons.

     

    I'm sorry if this sounds like a lecture or if it insults your intelligence. I don't know how much experience you've had in writing so I figured it'd be safe to just call it as I see it.

  • I'm not sure about 2. If it was like reading a conversation on a computer sure, but to me 2 does not go exactly fit well with those kinds of stories. But I'd say a mixture of 1 and 3. That's what I've been doing with mine. But if you do a mixture of 1 and 3 it should work out. But stick with 1 for the most part. 3 for when you want to get into detail like you did. And like iDreamRunner said, mix up the 'said' with other words now and then. Otherwise it looks a bit bland. I've had trouble doing that, but it works

  • Thank you all, I've got some valuable information from you.

  • I agree with all that has been said above. Definitely try to mix things up a little. I would avoid colons, and I generally do the first kind, but the third is good too. I agree with DJH and iDreamrunner, mix up the words. "said," that gets old quick.

    Creator of The GIO Fanfiction Group!

  • Yeah, that's why I have this thing called "thesaurus". Google it up. Best place for synonyms in my opinion.

  • Yeah. I would go with that. It would be useful.

    Creator of The GIO Fanfiction Group!

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