The lights are on
The Postal Series has been around
for awhile now. Starting off with the original Postal game in 1997, it
was a gritty, intelligent and funny, which made it one of the most
unique IP on the market. Eight years later after Postal 2, the postal
series has finally returned to conclude the trilogy. What could have
been a great game is instantly turned it into a cosmic mess with no
clear direction, outdated controller and horrible game design. Postal
III isn’t just the worst downloadable game I have ever played, it is by
far the worst game I have ever played.
One of the first problems
you’re going to spot is the overall story. The Story is focused around
you as you play as The Postal Dude, your average muscular dude who got
thrown into a situation he has to solve. The Story in Postal III has no clear direction and no goal on where it wants it take you. It is seemly just another comedic sketch over and over again.
puts you in a post apocalyptic world, but it never quit feels like it.
You never get the sense that you are isolate, on the run and need to
survive. Majority of your time you spend in small town called Catharsis.
The streets are always filled with people and the city looks
un-scratched from the post apocalyptic climate. All together, you never
get the sense that they are in danger and you are never enriched in the
setting. One of the many reasons the setting is toned down is because it
is trying to provide the comedic attitude that the series is known for.
out the game, what would be missions or quests in similar games are
replaced with comedic sketches that fail to be funny. Right off the bat,
you are tossed into situation that for the most part are hit and miss.
There are some sketches that will give you a laugh, but they are very
far in between. Along the way, you will come across a few celebrities
who lend their talents to the game, but the problem is that they are
given little to work with and are poorly executed.
In one of the
first missions of the game after you complete the prologue, you are
forced to do the most absolutely insane jobs in order to re-fuel your
car. From vacuuming up tissues off the floor in a sex shop and shooting
them right back at the customers. To helping a local terrorist group
battle Osama Bin Laden by rounding up diseased cats. To lastly killing
off an angry mob of Mexican -Sushi restaurateurs. Many will enjoy it for
it comedic attitude, but it quickly gets old due how linear the game
is. What really diminishes the comedic aspect of the game is the
III has been in development for eight years, which is one of the
longest development cycles in recent memory. You would of thought that
the franchise would make leaps and bounds, but the exact opposite
happen. Previously, the engine driving the Postal franchise was Epic’s Unreal engine. In Postal III however, Running With Scissors developed the product under Valve’s Steam engine. The results in glitchy experience that looks outdated filled with inexcusable errors for a current gen product.
The graphics are by far the worst thing Postal III
brings to the table. The graphics are in creditable out dated. Shadows
and textures pop in and out. Facial textures look awful. These graphics
are no shape or form acceptable for current gen hardware. What makes it
worse are the annoying glitches in the game.
Far too often, your
progress in the game will be stopped at a stand still. To entire area’s
blacked out because of the extra time need to load part of the map. By
far the worse glitch I experienced, was my entire save vanishing from my
game. Making my experience more troublesome then it should have be.
Another problem I had was the dialogue in the game. Far too often
characters fail to lip - sync to the script, resulting in an ugly
result. For the most part it will appear that characters are mumbling
through the script, making actors performance look below par and highly
These things should have been ironed out with beta
testing, but you can tell this was something they overlooked or skipped
entirely. Post apocalyptic wastelands are a mess to go through, but Postal III
graphical wasteland tops it all. In many ways, I wish Valve stopped
this game from hitting store shelves and give them more time to clean up
these mistakes. All this could have been forgiven if the gameplay was
decent but it follows a very similar path.
has perhaps has the weirdest shooting set up I have had to deal with
recently. For the PC, you can only shoot by right clicking on the mouse
and you aren't given control to arc your grenade. Besides grenades,
there are some truly bizarre guns that are fun to fool around with. You
want variety with your gunplay, well here you go as every gun plays
differently while providing a few laughs in the process.
Gunplay is sufficient, but I wish I could tweak things around in the
settings. If your looking for something groundbreaking and original.
You’re simply not going to get it with it taking little or no chances. Postal III focuses squarely on its comedic attitude.
I don’t know who I should more mad at, Postal III for giving me everything I didn’t want out of a game or the developers themselves. I can’t believe that the people behind Running with Scissors
would take eight years to put out one of the worst games I have ever
played. Then to make things worse, every time you die a developer will
flash onto the screen and give you the middle figure. I can understand
and respect a developer who knows that their product isn’t great, but
don’t you dare make fun of the people who support you day in and day
Simply put, Postal III is an injustice to game design and most importantly an injustice to loyal fans of the franchise. If Running With Scissors was trying to develop a product that was so bad, it made Duke Nukem Forever look good. Then after eight long years, you can say that it's the only thing they accomplished.