The lights are on
It's really sad that there was really Bulletstorm wasn't really a huge hit, because it is an amazing game, not to mention original. Kudos to People Can Fly, and now I can saw I'm okay with Epic handing off Gears of War: Judgement to them.
Okay, I picked up this game because it looked quite science-fiction-y. Not to mention that it had Epic's name on it. And it was $12 dollars well spent. I recommend this game to any FPS or Epic fan.
Combat was the Pièce de résistance of this game. Developers of shooters need to pay attention to this part: kicking enemies is way better than melee. Yeah, you heard me right. I also like Leashing my enemies into things like sharp metal and cacti plants. The best part about the Leash? The fact that it rewards you for being creative with your kills. Like if you Leash enemies into sharp metal objects, you get 100 Skillpoints for the "Voodoo Doll" kill. Another one of my favorites is near the end, when you can eject enemies out of the airlock, named "Ejectulated". I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a video game.
The "Ejectulated" is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the extremely crude humor of this game. Comments like ".....stroking one hell of a murder boner.", "You scared the d*** off me!", and "This thing's hanging on by an asshair!" make Bulletstorm the game that it is. Although the commentary sounds like it was written by one of those immature 8 year olds on Xbox Live, it's hilarious. The "immature" humor rivals that of Duke Nukem Forever, which I don't have to remind you began with you pissing in a urinal, and throwing turds at soldiers. And receiving oral sex from two blonde bimbo chicks. Yeah, my mother would be ashamed to see me play either of these games.
I'm not going to spend much time on the other aspects, but I will give a quick run through. Graphics: it's obviously an Epic game, seeing as the body structures, environments, and armor especially, look like they all game out of Gears of War. Overall, the graphics are pretty good, but can be blurry and fuzzy at parts. Sounds are excellent, and I really like the occasional Heavy Metal riff. Voice acting is superb. Controls are nice and fluid, and almost feel completely natural.
But now on to the part that everyone is waiting for: the huge controversy over the content.
Blowing enemies into bits and pieces with a LOT of blood and gore? Sure, I could deal without it, but it's not going to stop me from playing Bulletstorm. I mean, come on people, why attack Bulletstorm? Shouldn't most games get flack for this? I don't remember Gears of War and Prototype ever getting in deep crap for this stuff! Plus, Epic did the right thing: it offered content controls, as it has with Gears of War. Don't like the blood or profanity? Turn on content controls and stop whining about it, **BRAAAHHHH**! And I'm a conservative (I'm kind of ashamed to call myself a Republican right now, due to the fact they aren't standing up to the Marxist that's in the White House), I seriously wish Fox News would shut the hell up. And I'd rather watch Fox News over CNN or CBS any day, but they did the same thing with Mass Effect: they reported about something without having all the facts in. I hate it when they do stuff like that.
NRA, I honestly support you and love you guys. However, you piss me off when you blame video games (specifically Bulletstorm, if you recall) for gun violence. I am one-hundred percent pro-gun, and believe that we need guns to protect us from the government who would try to take them away, but I believe that video games are as responsible as guns for this idiotic crap. And that is none. NONE AT ALL. Screw Obama and his "proposal to have Congress fund a study on violent video games." Just more wasted money that he's taking out of my pocket.
Oh and Fox News is worried about 9 year olds playing games like Bulletstorm? That's the parent's fault. I think that I am a mature-enough 15 year old to play Bulletstorm and Grand Theft Auto, but as always, you're going to have some *** parents who let their kids play games like this. That's their fault. And just like the insane assholes like James Holmes and Adam Lanza that do retarded stuff, is it really right to punish the innocent people who play video games and own guns? Obviously not. I play games like Bulletstorm and shoot guns all the time, and am I a mass murderer? Obviously not. So screw all of those who think that they all should be banned. 1st Amendment, idiots!
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