Okay. The last straw has been broken with Assassin's Creed 3.

When I first played the first Assassin's Creed, I was in the 5th grade and I really liked how it took place in a real setting and had brutal, visceral combat.  Naturally, I bought it, and I was super glad I did.  Despite a few minor bugs in the game, the parkour, climbing, atmosphere, combat, and setting totally won me over.

The game was moderately successful, so a sequel was inevitable.  The second game came out when I was in 7th grade, and it expanded so much upon the original GOOD gameplay.  Afterward, ANOTHER game came out, Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, and had amazing graphics, and still revolved around Ezio Auditore, the Italian assassin in Renaissance Italy.  The multiplayer that was introduced was great as well.  However, the single player wasn't QUITE as mind blowing as it was in the second game. Nonetheless it was great.

By the time Revelations came out, Assassin's Creed had an enormous following, and for good reason.  Even I was pretty hyped for Ezio's next adventure in Constantinople. Thing is, the game ironically showed how old and tired the formula was by portraying Ezio as something like 58 years old.  Even worse, the single player was extremely boring, and there weren't many memorable characters beside Yusuf, a Turkish assassin who was killed off for no apparent reason.  To balance out the really watered down story, the multiplayer came surging back, better than the last game.  The multiplayer had excellent maps, characters to play as, and game modes that somewhat excused the other part of the game.

And now Assassin's Creed 3 has arrived.  And what an enormous disappointment it is. When the developers were speaking about their game, they made it seem as though all errors of the last game had been fixed, and that this game's environment is the biggest of any Assassin's Creed game.  The makers also promised visceral combat as well, but now, there were no more health potions and more health regeneration.  That's fine, I thought.  Of course, the game takes place in Revolutionary America.

I must say, the time period is portrayed VERY well, not just through the environment but through how people speak (nobody pronounces 'privacy' PRIH VUH SEE in the present day).  With every numbered Assassin's Creed game, a new character is introduced, and this time around, they picked a rare minority for the main character: Native American.  That really seemed badass, and when I saw his outfit, I noticed that it fit the silhouette of a member of the Assassin order, but also was a cross between Native American and colonial clothing.  Just one problem: the character sucks.

Connor, or Ratohnhaké ton (his Mohawk name) is handsdown the LEAST interesting character in the whole series.  Altair had a large amount of character development, despite his stoic personality.  Ezio was freaking Jesus, and was a joker, but also the deadliest man in Italy.  And now this Native American manchild, Connor, spends his time complaining and looking serious all the time.  In every conversation, all he does is complain.  In the beginning of the game, I assumed he would grow a sense of humor or at least act a little less like he had a pole up his ass, but no.  He stays a personality-bereft jerk throughout the game.  On the bright side, his outfit looks great.

When it comes to gameplay, Ubisoft tried to reinvent the whole *** wheel.  They totally screwed up so many of the controls, and practically made the in game economy pointless.  Since there's no armor to buy, and the only thing to upgrade is some piece of crap manor in the middle of a forest, there's not much point in getting weapons, especially since the tomahawk can pretty much do anything and the hidden blades can be used in combat (not to mention if you pre-ordered the game, you get the best sword in the game, and the best flintlock pistol when you complete a mission halfway through the game).  The assassin recruiting system was totally screwed up, and you get an enormous total of 1 assassin in the main story.  Notably, the whole sending assassins on missions in other states function is useless and feels pointless to put in the game. Needless to say, Ubisoft has taken something that was tired, but not totally broke, and completely turned it ass-backwards.

The absolute worst part of this entire game was the idea of the full synchronization objectives.  Unlike Brotherhood, which introduced the idea and did it well by making it fairly easy to get full synchronization (e.g. don't kill anyone, don't get detected).  But this game's full synchronization requirements will make you pull your damned hair out.  One mission requires you to not be detected while you plant explosives on a ship and air assassinate a grenadier, also while not being detected.  This is hands-down one of the most infuriating parts of the game.  There practically no hiding places on the ship other than the hull, where nothing can be done, and no matter WHAT you do, when you air assassinate the grenadier, you're automatically detected.  Even worse, there was another occasion where the game practically sticks a gigantic middle finger in your face.  You're required to tackle someone from above in a mission where you chase someone to get full synchronization.  So, naturally, I run out ahead of my target, and wait on a ledge.  I drop down on him at the PERFECT moment, tackling him into the street.  As soon as I do it, the game lets me know that I didn't complete the objective.  But that's literally the game's definition of ‘tackling from above’.  Nope, the game decides that it wants to totally bait and switch the player.  These two are only the tip of the iceberg; there are many other missions that have full synchronization bonuses that also will undoubtedly piss you off.

One of the better features of this game was the addition of naval combat, which was done EXCELLENTLY.  You can board other ships by firing chain shot into their masts and killing the crew onboard.  Honestly, being a captain of a ship in this game is the best single player feature.  It really feels as though Ubisoft put a lot of effort into the ocean's behavior and the AI of enemy ships.  If only they put remotely as much care in the rest of the game.

Desmond's story also comes to an end in this game.  Thankfully, Desmond's segments in this game are very well done, and it was quite refreshing to play as Desmond, a modern assassin who has learned his skills from his ancestors.  Each Desmond level was VERY fun to play, whether it involved doing parkour inside an abandoned building and parachuting to a helipad, or infiltrating a Brazilian sports stadium, or best of all, assaulting Abstergo Industries and killing people in extremely violent ways.  I was hoping that this game would finally tie together the whole 'ones who came before' story, and to an extent, it did.  I assumed that this game would finish their story and you would prevent the inevitable end of the world that the sun would cause, but no, the game decides to leave it open YET AGAIN, for the FIFTH time in a really unexplained and stupid way.

Now, for the best part of this game: the multiplayer.  Like the previous two entries to the series, the multiplayer is stellar.  One cool feature is the addition of cutscenes to the multiplayer, showing the winning characters doing awesome poses or those who collected accolades being shown doing parkour or killing other players in the post game waiting time.  Seems minor, but it adds to the overall good experience of the multiplayer.

One thing that really irked me was something that a lot of people would consider stupid.  After the game's over, it automatically makes the main character take his hood off and show off his stupid looking Mohawk, and no matter what you do, the hood never comes back on.  Thankfully, however, a couple of months ago, the hood finally came back on, much to the relief of fans.  Even so, the idiot who made the call to keep the hood off originally should be fired.


The thing that really pisses me off the most was the fact that I wanted this game to be great.  I honestly thought that this would be the best game in the series.  Even worse, there were a few missions in this game that were completely amazing.  Unfortunately, the game completely craps all over its potential by putting so many pointless missions and a beginning that starts off at a snail's pace.  Remember, I only have bones to pick with the single player game, the multiplayer is perfectly fine.
I might buy this game for $30 bucks at most, but at $60 dollars, Ubisoft is really pushing the boundaries of taste for this over-hyped mediocre running simulator.  I'll give it a 6/10.  The only real redeeming parts of the game are the naval battles and the nicely done multiplayer.